Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Ying and Yang doggies. Kasey, rest her soul, in front, Wrigley in back. Wrigley seems to be adjusting pretty well, but it breaks my heart when he goes to look for Kasey.

In the arms of the Angels, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Seven Eleven is selling their own label of wine. It comes from the winery: Estates of Bitter Sorrow.

Sadly, Sherwood Schwartz, the creator of “The Brady Bunch” and “Gilligan’s Island” passed away at 94. According to his wishes, he will be buried along with a treasure map, the football that broke Marcia’s nose and a banana cream pie baked by Mary Ann.

The main freeway into Los Angeles, the 405, will be closed for over an hour this weekend. Sadly, commuters will not be able to tell.

The US women’s World Cup team faces France in the semifinals after defeating Brazil in the Quarterfinals. It will be tough, the match against the French promises to be a lot hairier than the one against the Brazilians.

Rumor has it Pippa Middleton, was dating Prince Harry, Pippa is the sister of Kate who is married to William who is Prince Harry’s brother. And just where in the world do they get the nerve to make jokes about royal inbreeding?

A man in Garden Grove, CA, girlfriend drugged him, cut his penis off and threw it down the disposal. Guys, when she asks if those pants make her butt look fat, for the last time, the answer is no.

The guy who caught Derek Jeter’s 3,000 hit gave the ball – valued at $250,000 – gave it to Jeter for nothing. Or as Derek Jeter calls $250,000, two and one third innings of work.

Since you asked:

How ‘bout that US women’s soccer team? As we expected, the game against France was tough. Apparently it isn’t just the French waiters who have been trained to keep things away from Americans.

My main woman, Abby “Baxter” Wambach is so clutch. If she was a leader of a military unit, anyone would be a fool not to follow her into battle. Poor Carli “Simon” Lloyd was off her game at center mid, but a key move by coach Pia “Yah Sure, Yahbetchya” Sundhage put Lauren “Don” Cheney in her spot and subbed in that little bunny of a firecracker, Megan “The Pasta” Rapinoe who was whip-out foldin’ money.

There was the clocklike usual stellar play of Shannon “The Full Package” Boxx and Amy “A-Rod” Rodriguez, Ali “Gerrrrr” Krieger and Amy “Too French” LePeilbet.

Add to the stellar defense of Christi “The Pony” Rampone, and Hope “In Her” Solo and the clutch goals and assists by Heather “The Spy” O’Reilly, the aforementioned Lauren “Don” Cheney and Alex “Morgy” Morgan, and a gutsy show by Becky “Too Soon to have a nickname” Sauerbrunn and you had one hell of a clutch game.

Hope they put the pride of Torrey Pines, Rachel “Anyone, anyone?” “Buehl-dog” Buehler in the finals against Japan. But “Too Soon to have a nickname” did a good job in her stead.

Just so's ya knows:

There is a new unit of measurement to gauge a driver's douche-ability. It is how far they extend into the cross walk at stop lights and stop signs. There is no advantage to stopping in the middle of the cross walk. It gives impatient rude A-holes the impression it is quicker or an advantage without being one in the slightest.

For drivers coming the left side, it gives them the uncomfortable sense that this impatient oxygen thief is about to hit them.

All stopping your car in the crosswalk does is impede the vision of drivers on the other side trying to gauge the oncoming traffic, and force pedestrians to walk around your car into traffic.

We get that they think they're a very important person who has to use every advantage to get where they are going sooner, but they aren't. They're just rude and selfish hose-nozzles not thinking about anyone or anything else.


You want to end rude behavior and save the budget in California? $1,000 fine for stopping a car in the crosswalk. Again, let those flaming excrement nozzle-gobblers pay for for the rest of our problems.

Here is my question for the day: How many times am I going to walk outside and expect to see Kasey, remember that I won't, and then get horribly sad?