Monday, July 11, 2011

What a sport

Like dust down a country road, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It is hot. I’m sweating like Rod Blagovejich watching “The Shawshank Redemption.”

It is so hot, Arnold Schwarzenegger offered to spoon with Maria just to feel the cold shoulder.

Casey Anthony is going to be released from jail on Wednesday. Let that be a lesson to anyone who covers up a death of a child and lies about it to the police. You could spend a little over a week in jail.

The Chicago Cubs came back from an eight run deficit to beat the Washington Nationals, 10-9. Of course, for the 11-games-out Cubs, that’s like Newt Gingrich hiring one campaign worker who didn’t quit.

NBC’s “To Catch a Predator” host, Chris Hanson, was not only caught cheating on his wife, he text-messaged naked pictures to his mistress. Look for Hanson’s new show on NBC, “We Caught a Hypocrite.”

It is so hot, the hookers on Santa Monica Blvd were blowing ON their customers.

In Ohio, a man in a gorilla suit advertising for a store, was attacked by a guy dressed as a banana. The banana jumped out of the bushes and knocked over the gorilla and the banana ran away. The banana-guy faces counts of assault, battery and hilarious irony.

Did you know that, on the Fourth of July, Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest winner, Joey Chestnut averaged over six hot dogs per minute? He ate 62 in ten minutes. All the Kardashians combined couldn’t handle that many wieners.

Republican candidate, Tim Pawlenty, revealed he is a big Lady Gaga fan. That could land him some youth votes, bringing his total number of potential votes to 32.

Since you asked:
So relieved for the pride of Torrey Pines, Rachel “Anyone?” “Buehldog” Buehler. Poor thing was so relieved after the US won she was weeping. That was a soft call at best. Rachel was going hard and it should have been a non-call. The great US coach, Tony DiCicco said it was not a foul. Marta is a flaming flopper. Yes, she has amazing skills, but, in the end, the Brazilians sealed their fate with their poor sportsmanship and flopping getting the extra three minutes the US needed tacked on.

To paraphrase the great sportswriter, Sally Jenkins, in “Dare to Dream” that was one of the best godd@mn games ever, not just women’s soccer, but best games ever.

If you don't want to believe lawyers are lying pompous douche bags - and four of the smartest people I know are very successful and great lawyers as well as great people - then don't watch the Casey Anthony dick-lawyer, J. Cheney Mason interviewed. What a fat, arrogant slimebag. Man did he and Casey Anthony deserve each other.

There is no way Casey Anthony and this blowbag, J. Cheney Mason, have a clue as to the amount of misery and hatred they have generated against them and how much it will haunt them, ala OJ and his attorneys, Kardashian, Cochran and Bailey. Reportedly the 12th juror had to quit her job and move out of Florida saying she would rather spend the rest of life in jail than having been on that jury. That might be unfair as the jurors were just doing their job.

But the scum bag attorneys and their lying client?

Let's hope it is much worse for Casey Anthony and J. Cheney Mason.

What's that expression? If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it's a duck?

Well Chicago Cubs GM, Jim Hendry, is a duck who cannot generally manage.