Friday, July 08, 2011

Raisin Bran is the Khloe Kardashian of the Kellogg Variety Pak.

While my guitar gently weeps, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It is hot, I am sweating like Newt Gingrich paying his Tiffany’s bill.

You know who turns 64 this week? OJ Simpson. This is interesting, OJ’s playing number was 32. 32 plus 32 equals 64. You know what that means? Nothing, OJ is still lying double-murderer.

Investigators have discovered calls from Osama bin Laden’s cell phones to the Pakistani secret service. Which then establishes a link between the Pakistani secret service and their getting shot by Seal Team Six.

It has been four days since the Casey Anthony verdict; psychologists are thinking seriously of loosening the bite guard and leather restraints on Nancy Grace.

Congratulations to Natalie Portman, she had a baby boy. And they named him Aleph. Apparently the name: Tease Me ‘Til I Need Therapy was already taken.

You know what baby name is not popular? Casey Anthony Weiner.

Facebook now has Skype for video chats. So you know that smelly kid in fourth grade you didn’t really want to be Facebook friends with? Now you can see and talk to him everyday.

In Houston, a man robbed a convenience store wearing Sponge Bob Square Pants pajamas. Police are looking for a virgin who will not be spending the loot on a date.

The Tour de France is underway under the cloud of a doping scandal. In equally shocking sports news, sometime this year, a marathon will be won by a Kenyan.

Pamplona’s “Running with the bulls” begins today. Or as the bulls call it: “The goring of the drunken morons.”

Since you asked:

Love this stuff. In “Clapton” Eric said of the Beatles, although they would all come to be his good friends, with George being like a beloved brother, the first time he saw them at a club, with their matching mop-top haircuts and matching dark raincoats, Clapton thought:

“What a bunch of wankers.”

It is amazing that, in the early Sixties in London, Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Pete Townsend, and to a lesser degree, Keith Richards, were just artsy blues dorks who hung out trading hard-to-get blues albums from America and trying to learn to play them.

Clapton did not want fame, just to play the blues, and left the
Yardbirds in protest of their hit, "For Your Love." Jimmy Page left the Yardbirds because he just wanted to play in a studio. Then they got caught in the jet wash that was the Beatles and, later, Jimi Hendrix that somehow forced these guitarist/blues nerds into bands almost against their will.

The creation of Cream, Blind Faith, Led Zeppelin, the Who and the Stones were merely means to an end for these music
equivalent of computer geeks to keep doing what they wanted to do: Buy and trade guitars and American blues albums. Girls, mansions, fame, clothes, drugs and booze weren't even afterthoughts.

Eric Clapton ran away and hid from fame like a scared little bunny. As soon as the Yardbirds, Cream, Blindfaith, hit it big he ran for cover under vanity projects destined for nowhere, like John Mayall's Blues Breakers and Delaney and Bonnie.

Derek and the Dominoes was supposed to be Eric's idea of a dream sleep away camp. There are a lot of core blues songs on "Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs" like "Nobody Knows When You're Down and Out:, "Key to the Highway" "Have You Ever Loved a Woman?" This was not an album intended for fame. And then, almost by accident, they wrote "Layla*" and fame, once again, threw up in Eric Clapton's lap. After the weakest of tours, Eric ran and hid again, this time with the help of heroin.

Clapton would have never even recorded "461 Ocean Blvd" if he wasn't going broke. As a measure to how criminal the record deals were for the artists at this time, along with the insanely high percentage of English taxes, as many countless millions as they sold, Clapton, the Stones and even the Beatles were on the brink of being broke, or as in the Stones case before "Exile on Main Street", really were broke.

*When you hear "Layla" on Clapton's "Unplugged" you know it started out as a snappy little blues/pop number. He added that iconic opening chord at the last minute. (Which Neil Young blatantly steals for his ending of "Cinnamon Girl" which is about a Manson girl, but we don't have time to go down that dusty road)