Rapture did not capture my beloved Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
San Francisco is going to vote on a bill that would make it illegal to have a circumcision. So now, guys, the only thing you could have left in San Francisco is your heart.
Due to his separation for his love-child affair, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced his film career as on hold. Yo, Arnold, you do need to put a hold on something, but it ain’t your career.
In his autobiography, rocker and “American Idol” judge, Steven Tyler claims he has been clean and sober for over a year and a half. Really? How weird did he dress when he was on drugs?
Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is changing his catch phrase from “I’ll be back” to “I should have whacked.”
In sad news, pro-wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage died when he crashed his car after suffering a heart attack. Who could have guessed a diet of cocaine, steroids and Slim Jims could cause heart trouble? What? Too soon?
San Francisco is going to vote on a bill that would make it illegal to have a circumcision. Not sure about the bill supporter’s chant though: “Keep the hood on the wood.”
Donald Trump announced he is not running for president in 2012 and that his short campaign was by no means a sleazy attempt at free publicity for his show “Celebrity Apprentice” which airs on NBC on Sunday night at 9:00 PM Eastern, Central and Pacific time, 8:00 PM Mountain Time.
Well Saturday’s rapture came and it wasn’t the end of the world. Or as Arnold Schwarzenegger feels about that: damn it.
Since you asked:
Here’s what Arnold needs to do for a shot at redemption – and maybe a photo opportunity. He needs to study how Tiger Woods handled his scandal, and then do everything opposite.
Tiger’s cowering hiding, his lame ambiguous press releases and finally his all too late and all too little phony acts of contrition made us not only not want to forgive him, it made us even detest him all that much more for being the two-faced lying and cheating phony he is.
Like Tiger, Arnold is wildly rich and powerful and that means people are just dying for an excuse to hate him and bring him down. Unlike Tiger, much of Arnold’s success is due to his apparent upbeat personality and likeability. He needs to start being downright loveable, because the image we are getting of Arnold behind the scenes is truly ugly. Start rescuing puppies and skipping after butterflies with your kids, stat.
And, unlike Tiger, Arnold, hasta la vista, baby, put some freaking feeling into it.
Oh my word, it happened again.
Although not as bad as "The Dilemma", the "The Green Hornet" is another study in Hollywood gone wrong. It's as if somebody ordered Judd Apatow to make a "Batman" like movie, he didn't want to do it, but they threw too much money at him. (It isn't directed by Apatow, it just seemed like a half-ass effort on his part)
The silliness and the excess and the mindless destruction are apt for the end of days. And I love Seth Rogan and Cameron Diaz and James Franco. But honestly, a video made by them on on "Funny or Die" would have been more entertaining and a huge savings of time, money and props.
Sure, there are times Seth Rogan is funny doing his "I've smoked way too much pot" raspy chuckle, and there are some wild explosions and chase scenes and generally cool destruction, but far too few to merit watching this thing. Especially to pay to watch it.
San Francisco is going to vote on a bill that would make it illegal to have a circumcision. So now, guys, the only thing you could have left in San Francisco is your heart.
Due to his separation for his love-child affair, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced his film career as on hold. Yo, Arnold, you do need to put a hold on something, but it ain’t your career.
In his autobiography, rocker and “American Idol” judge, Steven Tyler claims he has been clean and sober for over a year and a half. Really? How weird did he dress when he was on drugs?
Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is changing his catch phrase from “I’ll be back” to “I should have whacked.”
In sad news, pro-wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage died when he crashed his car after suffering a heart attack. Who could have guessed a diet of cocaine, steroids and Slim Jims could cause heart trouble? What? Too soon?
San Francisco is going to vote on a bill that would make it illegal to have a circumcision. Not sure about the bill supporter’s chant though: “Keep the hood on the wood.”
Donald Trump announced he is not running for president in 2012 and that his short campaign was by no means a sleazy attempt at free publicity for his show “Celebrity Apprentice” which airs on NBC on Sunday night at 9:00 PM Eastern, Central and Pacific time, 8:00 PM Mountain Time.
Well Saturday’s rapture came and it wasn’t the end of the world. Or as Arnold Schwarzenegger feels about that: damn it.
Since you asked:
Here’s what Arnold needs to do for a shot at redemption – and maybe a photo opportunity. He needs to study how Tiger Woods handled his scandal, and then do everything opposite.
Tiger’s cowering hiding, his lame ambiguous press releases and finally his all too late and all too little phony acts of contrition made us not only not want to forgive him, it made us even detest him all that much more for being the two-faced lying and cheating phony he is.
Like Tiger, Arnold is wildly rich and powerful and that means people are just dying for an excuse to hate him and bring him down. Unlike Tiger, much of Arnold’s success is due to his apparent upbeat personality and likeability. He needs to start being downright loveable, because the image we are getting of Arnold behind the scenes is truly ugly. Start rescuing puppies and skipping after butterflies with your kids, stat.
And, unlike Tiger, Arnold, hasta la vista, baby, put some freaking feeling into it.
Oh my word, it happened again.
Although not as bad as "The Dilemma", the "The Green Hornet" is another study in Hollywood gone wrong. It's as if somebody ordered Judd Apatow to make a "Batman" like movie, he didn't want to do it, but they threw too much money at him. (It isn't directed by Apatow, it just seemed like a half-ass effort on his part)
The silliness and the excess and the mindless destruction are apt for the end of days. And I love Seth Rogan and Cameron Diaz and James Franco. But honestly, a video made by them on on "Funny or Die" would have been more entertaining and a huge savings of time, money and props.
Sure, there are times Seth Rogan is funny doing his "I've smoked way too much pot" raspy chuckle, and there are some wild explosions and chase scenes and generally cool destruction, but far too few to merit watching this thing. Especially to pay to watch it.
posted by Alex at
1:19 PM
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