Hey may have been a d*ck-nozzle, but he was kinda cool.

Work it like a Shake Weight, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers



Justin Bieber is launching a line of fingernail polish. Well that ought to stop the gay rumors.

Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, was voted the second most influential woman in England behind “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling and just ahead of Queen Elizabeth II. Finishing a close fourth? Elton John.

A 23-year-old man who lost his arms won “China’s Got Talent” by playing the piano with his toes. I’m not sure what song he played, but I am sure it wasn’t the Rolling Stones “Hand of Fate.”

Let’s give this guy a hand.

A “Saturday Night Live” skit made fun of attorney Gloria Allred as the most despised and shameless media whore ever. To which Spencer Pratt said; “Hey, that’s my gig.”

The cover of “W” magazine will feature Kim Kardashian naked except for the silver paint that
covers her body and her butt. In a related story there now is a nationwide shortage of silver paint.

Singer George Michael was released from prison after four weeks for driving on drugs. When asked to comment about his prison experience, the pretty-boy former Wham singer declined except to say he never wants to hear the word Wham again.

Wisconsin police arrested a drunken man who fell into a river chasing a one-legged goose. He was charged with public intoxication and creating the worst folk song ever.

Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell’s ad brags; “I didn’t go to Yale, like my opponent.” No, she only lied about going to Yale, she didn’t actually go there.

Did you hear about the streaker who ran naked by President Obama? Please, I’m begging you, Brett Favre, get some help.

In a New York bar, a woman threw a drink on Kim Kardashian. Kim is fine, but she was so shocked the Botox in her eyebrows almost moved.

Google is working on developing driverless cars. Is that new? We have a lot of driverless cars in my neighborhood. The problem is the driverless cars have some idiot trying to drive them.

Rihanna says she texts Lady Gaga before big events to make sure they don’t wear the same outfits. Heaven forbid they both show up in the same flank steak skirt.


Since you asked:
Saw a great movie last night, and not just because great is in the title “The Great Escape.” Man is that movie full of big stars and the story just rolls along ending into a great and exciting finish. Steve McQueen and James Garner were quite the studs back in the day. Likewise James Coburn. And Charles Bronson is pre-steroid buffed. Not to get all Adam Lambert on you . . .

Interesting aspect of the film I picked up this time, but missed when I was a kid. There is a distinction drawn between the higher class Luftwaffe (which means air force, not to be patronizing, which means to talk down to someone) and the far more low-bred and brutal SS and the worst of all, gutter-thug Gestapo.

The camp is run by an old school gentleman Luftwaffe officer and he seemed decent to the prisoners offering them books, gardening tools, sports gear, as long as they promise not to try and escape. Well, the prisoners are a collection of the war’s best escape artists so that won’t happen. And besides, the movie would be really boring if they didn’t try and escape.

But when the British officer sort of implies that the Stalag commander is kind of a nice guy to his boss, he is reminded by his commander, played awesomely by Sir Richard Attenborough, that the Nazis all agreed to follow Hitler and should all be treated the same.

Truth be told the knowledge that Steve McQueen* was one of the biggest self-centered obnoxious coked-out a-holes who ever lived, according to screen writing great William Goldman, did not help my enjoyment of the movie.

Also saw a great recipe from my boy, Tyler Florence, on “The Food Network.”

Tyler’s Ultimate Sloppy Joes.

Buy ground turkey. He uses plenty of olive oil and spices to make up for possible dryness and blandness of turkey, but it is much healthier than ground beef.

Sauté one diced onion in more olive oil then usual until a little brown, add 1 and ½ pounds of ground turkey, dust with salt, pepper, garlic powder and Old Bay seasoning, cook until brown then add two cups of ketchup, dollop of mustard, A1 sauce or Worcestershire, honey and a smaller dash of red wine vinegar. Let it cook down until it thickens.

Heap on toasted burger rolls with coleslaw and, flickity flea fly flow flum, Bob is your mofizzy effin no messin’ wit Uncle.

What do gay horses eat?

Haaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.


* Goldman told a story of a typical example of McQueen. The film - I don't remember which one - was way behind schedule and over-budget and the director was under incredible pressure from the studio. After a week straight of rain, the sun finally breaks out and the delighted director is ready to film. The problem? McQueen has decided to use to time to go joy riding on his motorcycle. The poor director actually broke down sobbing with hatred, anger and frustration.