Elvis was a Cajun, he had a Cajun heart, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

This economy is bad. To make money, Brett Favre texted a picture of his junk to the highest bidder.

How about that Monday Night Football? Are you ready for some sexting?

Minnesota Vikings QB, Brett Favre, reportedly sent New York Jets sideline reporter, Jenn Sterger, pictures of his genitalia. Asked to comment, Favre said “I’ve got my hands full with the Jets.” So apparently Brett calls his boys: The Jets.

A CBS News reporter was arrested for growing marijuana in his backyard; which explains why his last three reports were on Dorritos.

A phone recording caught an aide to Jerry Brown calling Meg Whitman a whore. That is horrible, how dare they insult the fine profession of prostitution by comparing them to politicians.

Stanford defeated USC 37-35. USC coach, Lane Kiffin, is not happy. He is seriously thinking of giving some of his players a pay cut.

Two scientists received the Nobel Prize for developing Graphene, the thinnest material ever, breaking the old record for the thinnest material set by public restroom toilet paper.

A sex survey revealed men believed their women experienced orgasms 84% while the women said they only had orgasms 64%. As a result, more men believe women are bad at math.

New York rep. gubernatorial candidate, Carl Paladino, is under fire for critical remarks about gay people. OK, I have three days in the “Until Carl Paladino’s gay sex scandal breaks” pool.

Minnesota Vikings QB, Brett Favre allegedly texted a picture of his genitals to a female New York Jet reporter. Which actually isn’t all that shocking when you realize the name Favre in Cajun means: Flasher.

This explains the new Brett Favre Wrangler ad that features the jeans with the Velcro fly.


New York gubernatorial candidate, Carl Paladino, made critical remarks about gay people. Which is odd considering Paladino in Italian means: fabulous hair dresser.

Since you asked:

If I was president - and let's all take a second to make a silent prayer of thanks I am not - one of my first acts of bidness would be to give an executive order that Garfunkle and Oates marries and procreates with The Flight of the Conchords. The resultant spawn would be an unholy union of the Bruce Springsteen and Zach Galifinakis. They would come out of the womb spouting lyrics that were both so brilliant and funny you would laugh and cry and cry and laugh all at the same time.