Monday, February 22, 2010

At the Vancouver Winter games the ice dancing pairs wait for their results in "The Kiss and Cry Room." Don't confuse this with our family room where I was forced by my daughter and wife to watch ice dancing. That's called "The Piss and Moan Room."

At the Vancouver Winter games, over 100,000 free condoms have been handed out in the Olympic Village. The most shocking part? One condom was actually used by a guy who is a Curler.

TMZ is reporting Tiger Woods has switched to an Arizona sex rehab facility; apparently there just weren't enough hot babes in the other one.

Since you asked:

L.T. released by the San Diego Chargers. This after being promised by Chargers owner, Alex Spanos, he could retire when he wanted to as a Charger.

Although I am not a huge fan of L.T. - he lost me by brooding on the bench with his helmet and visor on - it stopped shocking me how crappy Spanos treats his players. As a gym-nodding pal of kicking great, John Carney, who Spanos personally went out of his way to screw, it is criminal how Spanos lies and goes back on his word over and over again.

From the first day of his ownership, Spanos treated San Diego legend Dan Fouts like Fouts owed him money from a bad poker bet.

So it is with exceptional pride that I say I got Alex Spanos to scream obscenities at me longer and louder than just about anyone in my life. And that is saying something.

In 1986, when I transferred from Wall Street to work with Shearson in La Jolla, I had to start building up a retail client base and somehow I got Alex Spanos's office number. Some poor secretary - who I am sure he fired after - told me that Spanos wasn't in because he was at the Charger's practice facility. As assumptive as I could, I asked for that number and, to my shock, she gave it to me. Poor woman.

So I called his number at the office/trailer that was on the UCSD practice field, and asked for Alex Spanos. When I was informed by one of his assistants Spanos was on the practice field - who I am also sure Spanos fired - I told him I was a stock broker. He must have assumed I meant Mr. Spanos's stock broker, and I didn't feel the need to correct him, so he yelled out on the field for Alex Spanos to come in and take the call from his stockbroker.

No lie, the practice was so close, I could hear coaches whistles and pads hitting and players grunting.

Breathless from running all the way in from the practice field, Spanos barked:

"What the hell's the matter?"

I said;

"Mr Alex Spanos?" When he suspiciously said yes, I launched into my sales pitch;

"Mr. Spanos, I have just moved here from Wall Street and I am interested in building an exclusive clientele of only the top and most respected investors in San . . ."

Spanos started screaming:

"Why you motherf@@@er, I thought this was my stock broker, you c*cks*ucker, you got some b@lls, how dare you take me off the practice field, you son of a bitch, I am going to rip you a new a$$hole you miserable piece of sh*t . . . "

Like in a movie, I was holding the phone away from my ear and squinting at it, amazed he was so loud. It went on like this for quite a while. When Spanos finally asked me for my name and company so he could personally have me fired, I manned up and did what I had to do:

I gave him the name and company of the stock broker currently dating my ex-girlfriend.

Ain't I a stinker?