What what on the woot woot, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers The Los Angeles City Council has passed a law limiting one rooster per household; what’s the one rooster law called? One cock a dude will do? You can now perform Karaoke on your computer; finally some long-awaited good news for those drunk, untalented shut in losers. President Barack Obama is calling for more school time and less summer vacation for kids; in a related story, his daughters Sasha and Malia, called the President a big stinky do-do head. Former “American Idol” runner up, Justin Guarini, was married over the weekend; it was a nice wedding, the reception was catered by the same Domino’s Justin delivers for. Phil Mickelson won the Tour Championship; there was an awkward moment when they presented Phil the trophy and he was interrupted by Kanye West who said; “Immagonna let you finish, but Tiger Woods is the best golfer of all time.” Convicted dog-fighter, Michael Vick played only six plays in the Philadelphia Eagles 34-14 win over the Kansas City Chiefs; but, in Vick’s defense, 6 plays is 42 plays in dog years. The Minnesota Vikings beat the San Francisco Forty Niners 27-24 thanks to a last second touchdown pass by Brett Favre; I don’t want to imply Favre is getting up there, but Favre celebrated the big win by going to Applebee’s and blowing on his soup. The Los Angeles Lakers’ Lamar Odom married reality TV star Khloe Kardashian this weekend; it was touching, the couple wrote their own vows; “I promise to love honor and cherish as long as we are both remotely famous.” President Barack Obama is going to Denmark to pitch Chicago’s bid to host the 2016 summer Olympic Games. Or as the Olympics are referred to in Chicago, Dah-limp-picks. President Barack Obama is going to Denmark to pitch Chicago’s bid to host the 2016 summer Olympic Games. The Chicago Olympics will be like the regular Olympics except the Olympic flame cauldron will be replaced by a big, red Weber Barbeque kettle that’s grilling sausages. President Barack Obama is going to Denmark to pitch Chicago’s bid to host the 2016 summer Olympic Games. The Chicago Olympics will be like the regular Olympics except the marathon will be replaced by a pub crawl. The Los Angeles Lakers’ Lamar Odom married reality TV star Khloe Kardashian this weekend; the wedding information is posted online at www. Who gives a rat’s ass about these idiots?.com. San Diego Charger Shawne Merriman was out of the Miami Dolphin game due to a groin injury; the official medical term for Merriman’s injury is Tila Tequila-itis. President Barack Obama is going to Denmark to pitch Chicago’s bid to host the 2016 summer Olympic Games. The Chicago Olympics will be like the regular Olympics except the Olympic motto will be changed from Swifter, Higher, Stronger to Swig ‘dis Old Style longer.” Since you asked: If there was ever any doubt how far Hollywood would stick it’s head up a big shot director’s ass, it has been erased forever with the protest by studio heads and stars as big as Harrison Ford and Whoopi Goldberg, who are actually against the arrest of child anal-rapist, Roman Polanski. Let’s not forget, a then 44-year-old Polanski serves champagne and proscription drugs to a 13-year-old girl in a Jacuzzi and then sodomized her against her will. He gets arrested and agrees to 42-days in a mental health facility, but when he finds out he will go to prison, he skips out and lives luxuriously in Europe for 31-years doing god-only-knows- what to more underage girls. Polanski was arrested on his way to a film festival to get his ass seriously kissed by has-been movie stars like Debra Winger. Debra Winger hasn’t made a movie in so long she would protest the arrest of Osama bin Laden if he could get her into one of his videos. By no means am I a prude on Hollywood sex lives. If a big shot movie star can have a four way with beautiful women every night, I am neither jealous nor bitter. Even though the closest I could get to a four way is watching hotel room porn while on a conference call. But a 44-year-old creep anal raping a 13-year-old girl is way over the line, even for Hollywood. Remember, Hollywood gave an Oscar to this scumbag knowing what he did. In an era drowning in entitlement, Hollywood is so arrogant they actually believe, because what they do is so important, they live under different ethical and moral rules than the rest of us. That is how they are able to pucker up and smooch the perverted old wrinkled asses of sickos like Woody Allen – who had sex with and married his step daughter, no John Phillips, but not far behind - and Roman Polanski. As a culture we worship celebrities way too much. Remember, Charlie Manson is a celebrity. Charlie Manson does not have a decent bone in his entire body. But he is a celebrity. Can you even imagine how loudly these Hollywood hypocrites would be screaming for the head of Roman Polanski if he was a republican congressman who drugged and raped a 13-year-old girl and skipped out to live in Paris?