The beasts, Kasey and Wrigley, enjoy their Doggie HD TV.



We gonna jack it up 'til they pack it up, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Joe Jackson has pocketed $500,000 cashing in on interviews about his son, Micheal's, death. If I was Tito I would sleep with both eyes open.

Ryan Seacrest signed a new deal with "American Idol" that is worth $45 mil; it's not as big as it sounds, that is $10 mil after they take out the price of hair care products.

AskMen.com ranked the top ten horniest countries and Greece finished first. Of course, the country is named after a lubricant.

AskMen.com ranked the top ten horniest countries and France didn't make the list. That's due to the economy, the French don't have American tourists to screw over.

A survey claims 27% of Americans are slightly worried ab0ut paying off their credit cards. Another survey claims 100% of lame surveys can chomp on my junk until bats fly out of their butts.

They thought New York was infested with raccoons. Turns out a lot of them are just rats wearing that slutty Amy Winehouse mascara.

AskMen.com ranked the top ten horniest countries and the men of Hungary are very upset at being left off. After all, you can't spell Hungary without . . . ary.

Since you asked:

Folks, if you're not on the Twitter yet, you really should be if nothing else to plunge the depths of the vast mind of Paris Hilton. She honest-to-god makes comments like "We should help the refugees in Africa" and "Robert DeNiro is a good actor" and "Summer is so cool" and "Going to get a facial"

Let us all hold our collective breaths for more insightful comments from Paris like; "Mean people suck."

When Paris comments you can actually taste her lip gloss and stupidity.

Apropos of nothing, you know what they need in Congress? A kiss cam.

And when is somebody going to nut-up and do a Rap version of "California Dreaming"?

"Yo, yo, yo, check it, ya'll, all the leaves are brown . . ."

Lex's deep thought of the day:


Talking baby talk to your doggies is like picking your nose: it is only disgusting if someone else is doing it.