This just in:

Did you see Sarah Palin's resignation speech? No idea that woman was so talented. Sarah Palin actually imitated Tina Fey imitating Sarah Palin. It was uncanny.

How does that work? One day you're running the state, the most powerful person in Alaska - thanks to the people who voted you in - and the next day you say, "Nah, I don't want to do this anymore." What Sarah should have done to blow off some steam is take off to Argentina to hike that ol' Appalachian pass, if you know what I mean.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford said his Argentina girlfriend, Maria, was his soul mate, but he was going to try and make things work with his wife. Women love that. It's like striking out with the hot babe at a bar and then telling the girl next to her; "What the hell? You'll do."

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford said his Argentina girlfriend, Maria, was his soul mate, but he was going to try and fall in love with his wife again. Oh my god, this guy actually says stupider crap than Joe Biden. For the love of god, Sanford, shut up!

Sarah Palin quit, Mark Sanford ran off to play Argentine slap and tickle and Elliot Spitzer liked him his whores. Its a sad day when our country's most competent governor is a muscle-headed lousy actor who can barely speak English.

Not to say the republican party is in trouble, but the Washington Nationals baseball team is telling republican jokes.