Tuesday, July 07, 2009

G-Dawg Money gettin' allllllll like that, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Environmentalists say getting naked for hours each day will help fight global warming; at least that is what the environmentalists are telling their hot co-workers.

This is especially bad news for the viewers of "The Dr. Phil Show."

Lance Armstrong is in the Tour De France after fathering a child, Will, with his girlfriend, Anna Hanson, after losing a testicle to cancer. How on earth did Viagra miss this dream tie-in endorsement?

A pending law would put guns in Arizona bars. Normally packing a gun is dangerous, but the risks are minimal thanks to the calming and sensible effects of alcohol.

This is the worst idea since they put a pharmacy backstage at an Amy Winehouse concert.

This bill is known as the Pouring Gas On a Fire proposal. Say what you want, but it is one way to cut down the number of alcoholics in Arizona.

After being evicted from her Manhattan penthouse by the FBI, the lovable, Ruth Madoff, tried to sneak back in to grab a fur coat; oh my word, Ruth thought she was in trouble with the IRS and FBI? Wait until PETA gets after her evil-witch ugly behind.

My favorite President Obama sound bite from his trip to Russia?

"Stop kissing me, you can thank me for leaving Biden behind later."

Many Washington State football players are in trouble with the law; it was awkward when they asked one player why there were so many recidivists on the team, he said; "Beats me, I'm protestant."

The Jackson family is furious with the exploitation of Michael Jackson. In fact, they were so upset at the exploitation they had to stop rehearsing for the "If You Really Loved Michael Jackson, Come See Tito and Latoya" world tour.

Sarah Palin resigned as Governor of Alaska; she didn't really have any choice, she was shirking her duties when she accidentally posed topless while condemning gay marriage.

In an interview with "Runner's World" Sarah Palin bragged she could beat Barack Obama in a road race. Now we know she would quit halfway.

Since you asked:

The ranch outside of Leadville, Pine Creek, was amazing. Beautiful green mountains and a gorgeous and overflowing waterfall creek. The air is so clean you can taste the pine trees and sage. We took a hike and found parts of arrowheads. On the property is a cabin built by the gold miners in the 1800's to store dynamite. We practically filmed a Coors commercial: we mountain biked, hiked, Ann Caroline and I fished together and caught two brook trout, Ann Caroline rode their horse, her first time riding, I rode a mountain bike and had two nasty falls. One fall right on a pile of river boulders. (Knee and elbow still a bit dodgy, but I think I am fine)

Fourth-of-July we roasted marshmellows by a huge camp fire.

All of Virg's family and friends are great people and a lot of fun. Her Uncle and cousin are big contractors in Colorado Springs, Allen and Kevin Booker. They talked about how slow the economy was using an example of their $220,000 bare-bones bid on a bus stop for a school for the blind which went to a lower $150,000 bid. In other words, the contractor bid to break even just to keep workers on the payroll.

Of course, being the San Diego smart ass that I am, I said;

"It was a school for the blind, go back and bid $140,000 and just tell them you finished it. And it looks beautiful."

They laughed, but I could see they were thinking:

"What the hell is wrong with that guy?"