We got Olympic cough-due-to-cold, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Better chance
Barack Obama is trying to get Angelina Jolie’s endorsement. Angelina can’t promise she will endorse Obama, but there is a real good chance she’ll adopt him.
Both Barack Obama and John McCain are rumored to be seeking Angelina Jolie’s endorsement. John Edwards doesn’t want her endorsement, but he does wonder if Angelina would like to grab a late dinner at a quiet little Italian place he knows.
This is wild, or not
After tense negotiations, Barack Obama’s campaign approved giving Hillary Clinton a nomination at the democratic convention. My word, do you realize what this means? No, really, I am asking, does anyone know what the hell this means?
Who knew?
Remember the late, great cooking expert, Julia Childs? Turns out she was a spy in World War II. You know the Chinese General Tso’s chicken recipe? She stole it from General Tso.
Putting the zing in Beijing
Some of the NBC Olympic announcers have been mispronouncing the name of the city as Bay-zhing, when it should be Bay-jing. But definitely not how John McCain pronounces it: Peking.
Really?
A study in England reveals beer goggles are real, strangers look more attractive to someone who has consumed alcohol. I think the name of this study is “Duh”.
A study in England reveals beer goggles are real, strangers look more attractive to someone who has consumed alcohol. They made a TV show out of this alcohol-attraction study. It’s called: “How I Met Your Mother.”
A study in England reveals beer goggles are real, people look more attractive to someone who has consumed alcohol. And, guys, you know how you can tell if you’ve had too much to drink? When you’ve drank until Hillary Clinton looks hot.
Yikes
The Beijing Olympics is the first to be broadcast in High Definition. This is good news for everybody except the fans of women’s weight lifting.
Shyness prevention
Scientists are working on a drug that will help people overcome shyness. Don’t we already have this? It’s called beer.
Now it make sense
The Illinois Gay Rodeo Association is hosting a rodeo in Chicago on August 22-24. How in the world could a cowboy be gay? I mean cowboys wear pointy leather boots with heels and tight blue jeans with a wide brimmed hat and a scarf and carry a rope . . . oh, I get it.
And nobody wants that
Scientists are working on a drug that will help people overcome shyness. Warning: exceeding the recommended dosage of the anti-shyness drug could result in behaving like a chick on “The View.”
Ouch
Guess who turns 50 tomorrow? Madonna. What kind of sexy underwear does a diva like Madonna wear when she turns 50? Depends.
Guess who turns 50 tomorrow? Madonna. Is there anything sadder than a cone bra that sags?
Happy Celebrity Birthday to Madonna, who turned 50. She celebrated by blowing out her birthday cake and Alex Rodriguez.
No, seriously, Madonna turns 50 today. Alex Rodriguez gave her a Rascal Scooter for her birthday.
No, seriously, Madonna turns 50 today. For today at least her hot flash excuse was because of all of those birthday cake candles.
Madonna turned 50. Let’s take a moment and review Madonna’s outstanding film roles. Well, there was that film where she played, uh, well how about the movie, uh, . . . and that should just about do it.
Better chance
Barack Obama is trying to get Angelina Jolie’s endorsement. Angelina can’t promise she will endorse Obama, but there is a real good chance she’ll adopt him.
Both Barack Obama and John McCain are rumored to be seeking Angelina Jolie’s endorsement. John Edwards doesn’t want her endorsement, but he does wonder if Angelina would like to grab a late dinner at a quiet little Italian place he knows.
This is wild, or not
After tense negotiations, Barack Obama’s campaign approved giving Hillary Clinton a nomination at the democratic convention. My word, do you realize what this means? No, really, I am asking, does anyone know what the hell this means?
Who knew?
Remember the late, great cooking expert, Julia Childs? Turns out she was a spy in World War II. You know the Chinese General Tso’s chicken recipe? She stole it from General Tso.
Putting the zing in Beijing
Some of the NBC Olympic announcers have been mispronouncing the name of the city as Bay-zhing, when it should be Bay-jing. But definitely not how John McCain pronounces it: Peking.
Really?
A study in England reveals beer goggles are real, strangers look more attractive to someone who has consumed alcohol. I think the name of this study is “Duh”.
A study in England reveals beer goggles are real, strangers look more attractive to someone who has consumed alcohol. They made a TV show out of this alcohol-attraction study. It’s called: “How I Met Your Mother.”
A study in England reveals beer goggles are real, people look more attractive to someone who has consumed alcohol. And, guys, you know how you can tell if you’ve had too much to drink? When you’ve drank until Hillary Clinton looks hot.
Yikes
The Beijing Olympics is the first to be broadcast in High Definition. This is good news for everybody except the fans of women’s weight lifting.
Shyness prevention
Scientists are working on a drug that will help people overcome shyness. Don’t we already have this? It’s called beer.
Now it make sense
The Illinois Gay Rodeo Association is hosting a rodeo in Chicago on August 22-24. How in the world could a cowboy be gay? I mean cowboys wear pointy leather boots with heels and tight blue jeans with a wide brimmed hat and a scarf and carry a rope . . . oh, I get it.
And nobody wants that
Scientists are working on a drug that will help people overcome shyness. Warning: exceeding the recommended dosage of the anti-shyness drug could result in behaving like a chick on “The View.”
Ouch
Guess who turns 50 tomorrow? Madonna. What kind of sexy underwear does a diva like Madonna wear when she turns 50? Depends.
Guess who turns 50 tomorrow? Madonna. Is there anything sadder than a cone bra that sags?
Happy Celebrity Birthday to Madonna, who turned 50. She celebrated by blowing out her birthday cake and Alex Rodriguez.
No, seriously, Madonna turns 50 today. Alex Rodriguez gave her a Rascal Scooter for her birthday.
No, seriously, Madonna turns 50 today. For today at least her hot flash excuse was because of all of those birthday cake candles.
Madonna turned 50. Let’s take a moment and review Madonna’s outstanding film roles. Well, there was that film where she played, uh, well how about the movie, uh, . . . and that should just about do it.
posted by Alex at
5:29 PM
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