Really, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?
Reopening soon
Rumors are that Mars Phoenix has made a major discovery relating to the potential for life on Mars. In a related story, Starbucks will reopen the stores they just closed on Mars.
Yes, I know it is called the long jump
Earlier this week, thousands of athletes from around the world took part in the Gay Olympics. The Gay Olympics are like the regular Olympics except that the broad jump is called the Dude jump.
Earlier this week, thousands of athletes from around the world took part in the Gay Olympics. The Gay Olympics: where steroids aren’t the only thing injected into the athlete’s butts.
Not clear
The Olympics open Friday. Due to all the Beijing air pollution, Olympic fever has been replaced by Olympic runny eyes and persistent dry hack.
Wrong
A “Wall Street Journal” article claims Barrack Obama may to too skinny and could turn off the 66% of voting-age people who are overweight. That’s silly. If we wanted someone who is as fat and goofy as the average jamoke it would be hello President Larry the Cable Guy.
Dirty air
Here it is right before the Olympics and the Beijing air quality is still bad. You know the air quality is bad when the healthiest thing in the Olympic night air is a javelin.
Here it is right before the Olympics and the Beijing air quality is still bad. At the Opening ceremonies they were going to release doves into the air, but, during rehearsal, the doves hit the smog and rained down looking like fried chickens after an explosion at KFC.
Something not so special in the air
On a Delta flight from L.A. to Atlanta, they found a dead woman’s body in the bathroom. Apparently she didn’t love to fly and it showed.
We kid our fellow Fantasy Football players
Fantasy Football is coming up. You start six players from any NFL team and they get points for their production; your team plays against another Fantasy team in your league. If you win you celebrate by having sex with your imaginary girlfriend and sleeping in your Spiderman pajamas.
The consensus
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were paid $14 million by “People” for cover pictures of their babies. “I’m really happy Brad and Angelina got paid that much for their baby pictures” said nobody.
Reopening soon
Rumors are that Mars Phoenix has made a major discovery relating to the potential for life on Mars. In a related story, Starbucks will reopen the stores they just closed on Mars.
Yes, I know it is called the long jump
Earlier this week, thousands of athletes from around the world took part in the Gay Olympics. The Gay Olympics are like the regular Olympics except that the broad jump is called the Dude jump.
Earlier this week, thousands of athletes from around the world took part in the Gay Olympics. The Gay Olympics: where steroids aren’t the only thing injected into the athlete’s butts.
Not clear
The Olympics open Friday. Due to all the Beijing air pollution, Olympic fever has been replaced by Olympic runny eyes and persistent dry hack.
Wrong
A “Wall Street Journal” article claims Barrack Obama may to too skinny and could turn off the 66% of voting-age people who are overweight. That’s silly. If we wanted someone who is as fat and goofy as the average jamoke it would be hello President Larry the Cable Guy.
Dirty air
Here it is right before the Olympics and the Beijing air quality is still bad. You know the air quality is bad when the healthiest thing in the Olympic night air is a javelin.
Here it is right before the Olympics and the Beijing air quality is still bad. At the Opening ceremonies they were going to release doves into the air, but, during rehearsal, the doves hit the smog and rained down looking like fried chickens after an explosion at KFC.
Something not so special in the air
On a Delta flight from L.A. to Atlanta, they found a dead woman’s body in the bathroom. Apparently she didn’t love to fly and it showed.
We kid our fellow Fantasy Football players
Fantasy Football is coming up. You start six players from any NFL team and they get points for their production; your team plays against another Fantasy team in your league. If you win you celebrate by having sex with your imaginary girlfriend and sleeping in your Spiderman pajamas.
The consensus
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were paid $14 million by “People” for cover pictures of their babies. “I’m really happy Brad and Angelina got paid that much for their baby pictures” said nobody.
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