Happy Thanksgiving, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Pay attention
For those trying to keep track, Rosie O’Donnell is mad at Kelly Ripa who is mad at Clay Aiken, who was on the A.M.A. show where host Jimmy Kimmel did a skit making fun of Kevin Federline that made Britney Spears mad and Michael Richards told them all to shut the F up.

The President Bush pardoned a turkey today: Michael Richards.

Scary
One place you don’t want to be this Thanksgiving is at O.J. Simpson’s house. Can you imagine? O.J.is already furious at losing his lucrative book deal, and then he picks up a carving knife? Run.

Yesterdiddy was the busiest bar business day of the year. More people go to a bar for a drink today than on St. Patricks day. That’s because your relatives don’t come over on St. Patricks Day.

Top things overheard this Thanksgiving in Hollywood.

Don’t worry, Mr. Mel Gibson, there is no such thing as a Jewish turkey.

Sorry, Mr. Michael Richards, but I believe that Margarita recipe calls for two Jiggers of tequila.

Sorry, Mister Federline, but Britney is not letting you back in the house for Thanksgiving.

Please, Paris Hilton, for the last time, we know the turkey is hot.

We’re not positive, Miss Jessica Simpson, but for a Turducken, we are pretty sure the chicken and duck go in the turkey before you cook it.


Meeoooww
“The Views” Rosie O’Donnell is angry at Kelly Ripa for a comment that Kelly made after Clay Aiken put his hand on Kelly’s mouth, Rosie felt it was homophobic. Good thing Clay didn’t put his hand in front of Rosie’s mouth or he’d be missing a hand.

“The Views” Rosie O’Donnell is angry at Kelly Ripa for a comment that Kelly made after Clay Aiken put his hand on Kelly’s mouth, that Rosie felt was homophobic. The problem? Clay Aiken has never said he was gay. Apparently the O in O’Donnell stands for outing.

At a high school in Canton Ohio, 13% of the girls are pregnant. The ironic part about this? That high school’s team name is the Trojans.

Thanks to a $200 million ad campaign, the Army has a new motto: Army Strong. That’s $100 million a word. And you thought it was expensive to buy a vowel on “Wheel of Fortune.”

Thanks to a $200 million ad campaign, the Army has a new motto: Army Strong. That’s $100 million a word. Those are the most expensive words since Paul McCartney said; “We don’t need a prenuptial agreement, Heather.”

Since you asked:
Went for a nice run on a beautiful day fueled with my iPod scooting me along the way. Remember, Rock and Roll ain’t noise pollution, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers. Great way to start Thanksgiving. Now I gots me an adult beverage I call a Blue bomber, Kettle One and blueberry and pomegranate. Neeeeee skiddidididly nah hah hah