Sometimes it just do it like that, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
A Fierce crime
At the Judy Garland museum in Grand Rapids, MI, a pair of the “Wizard of Oz” Ruby slippers were stolen. The culprit is believed to be armed, dangerous and extremely gay.
Or
At the Judy Garland museum in Grand Rapids, MI, a pair of the “Wizard of Oz” Ruby slippers were stolen. The culprit is believed to be armed, dangerous and dressed absolutely fabulously.
Java jive
A study reveals coffee is loaded with beneficial disease fighting antioxidants. In a related story, Larry King is now expected to live forever.
A study reveals the coffee is loaded with beneficial disease fighting antioxidants. You thought Starbucks was expensive and snotty before, wait until they realize they’ve been saving lives.
A study reveals the coffee is loaded with beneficial disease fighting antioxidants. You thought Starbucks was expensive and snotty before? Now the Baristas make you sit in a waiting room for an hour before giving you a proscription for a double Latte.
How hot is it?
It has been so hot in Texas during the President’s vacation, Bush has been intentionally falling off his mountain bike just for the ice bag on his head.
Who knew?
HBO has a new mini-series on ancient Rome. It is very interesting. Apparently Rome was very colorful, very violent and crammed full of unemployed actors.
HBO has a new mini-series about ancient Rome. The series explains the politics of Rome, the strategies of Roman battles, their customs and religions. It explains everything except why everyone in Rome speaks in a snooty British accent.
Naughty boys
The third place Little League World Series team Ranch Buena Vista returned to a hero’s welcome. The 12-year-old boys got a parade, a key to the city, and they all got to get to second base on Heather Kingsly behind the Vista Seven Eleven.
Finally
Stewart gets off probation and gets to take off her ankle bracelet monitor. Finally, at long last, Martha will get to go to a happy hour at Hooters.
To compete against Donald Trump’s catch phrase, you’re fired, Martha Stewart’s apprentice show will have Martha fire them with: “You just don’t fit in.” This is better than Martha’s first suggestion: “I will drink your blood and you will become my evil minion for eternity.”
Or
To compete against Donald Trump’s catch phrase, you’re fired, Martha Stewart’s apprentice show will have Martha fire them with: “You just don’t fit in.” Actually they had to shorten it. Martha really wanted; “You just don’t fit in . . . to the shallow grave I dug for my other equally inept and dead ex-workers.”
Since you asked:
Political views aside, grandstanding for free publicity is grandstanding for free publicity. In televised sports the press and the media learned that if they don’t show the idiots running naked on the field, then idiots don’t run naked on the field. When is the “real” press going to learn that?
The difference is that the press that covers these circus events is not the qualified, full time legitimate press. These are grasping free lancers – I know about grasping free lancers all to well - who only get paid if they sniff out dirty laundry and whore it out to the real press. NBC, CNN, CBS, MSNBC, Fox, and all the main players don’t go to a sight until it is a legitimate story. That leaves this blood thirsty crew of glorified Paparazzi to cover b.s. events like that psycho releasing doves at Michael Jackson’s acquittal.
Thankfully, we have freedom of speech in this country. Unfortunately, we have selfish jerks who abuse that right to try and make money and or get famous. And that includes these jackals covering all of these self-created media circuses. For the most part, these satellite “journalists” pay their way to these locations so, whether they have to fabricate an issue or not, they are going to find a way to cover their Southwestern flight, Ramada room bill, rental car, TGIF Happy hour tab and, last but not least, their “sensuous message.”
In my opinion, we need to ban all pit bulls, eliminate the designated hitter, stop all falling- magazine-card-subscription thingies and put some sort of license, or qualification to legitimize and muzzlel these media circus press vultures. All press should have to have some legitimate qualification besides having a haircut, a pulse, make-up, and an affected smarmy way of yammering into a microphone.
For “A.L.B.B.,” this has been Alex Kaseberg reporting. Gahhhhdmaaahning and have a synergistic tomorrow.
Kaseberg out.
P.S. We need a national program called Hurricane Assigned Irritating Reporter's Cruelty Unilaterally Terminated, or H.A.I.R.C.U.T., dedicated to saving these poor endangered hurricane reporters.
For some unknown reason, every news director in the country thinks we won’t know a hurricane is windy and wet until they send a flunky reporter down into harms way to tell us. Although, it is true, there is an over-abundance of these smarmy reporters, it is still cruel and unnecessary revenge for the reporter having groped the news director’s drunk, horny wife at the News Team’s Christmas party.
Please give to H.A.I.R.C.U.T. The life you save could be the next Geraldo Rivera.
A Fierce crime
At the Judy Garland museum in Grand Rapids, MI, a pair of the “Wizard of Oz” Ruby slippers were stolen. The culprit is believed to be armed, dangerous and extremely gay.
Or
At the Judy Garland museum in Grand Rapids, MI, a pair of the “Wizard of Oz” Ruby slippers were stolen. The culprit is believed to be armed, dangerous and dressed absolutely fabulously.
Java jive
A study reveals coffee is loaded with beneficial disease fighting antioxidants. In a related story, Larry King is now expected to live forever.
A study reveals the coffee is loaded with beneficial disease fighting antioxidants. You thought Starbucks was expensive and snotty before, wait until they realize they’ve been saving lives.
A study reveals the coffee is loaded with beneficial disease fighting antioxidants. You thought Starbucks was expensive and snotty before? Now the Baristas make you sit in a waiting room for an hour before giving you a proscription for a double Latte.
How hot is it?
It has been so hot in Texas during the President’s vacation, Bush has been intentionally falling off his mountain bike just for the ice bag on his head.
Who knew?
HBO has a new mini-series on ancient Rome. It is very interesting. Apparently Rome was very colorful, very violent and crammed full of unemployed actors.
HBO has a new mini-series about ancient Rome. The series explains the politics of Rome, the strategies of Roman battles, their customs and religions. It explains everything except why everyone in Rome speaks in a snooty British accent.
Naughty boys
The third place Little League World Series team Ranch Buena Vista returned to a hero’s welcome. The 12-year-old boys got a parade, a key to the city, and they all got to get to second base on Heather Kingsly behind the Vista Seven Eleven.
Finally
Stewart gets off probation and gets to take off her ankle bracelet monitor. Finally, at long last, Martha will get to go to a happy hour at Hooters.
To compete against Donald Trump’s catch phrase, you’re fired, Martha Stewart’s apprentice show will have Martha fire them with: “You just don’t fit in.” This is better than Martha’s first suggestion: “I will drink your blood and you will become my evil minion for eternity.”
Or
To compete against Donald Trump’s catch phrase, you’re fired, Martha Stewart’s apprentice show will have Martha fire them with: “You just don’t fit in.” Actually they had to shorten it. Martha really wanted; “You just don’t fit in . . . to the shallow grave I dug for my other equally inept and dead ex-workers.”
Since you asked:
Political views aside, grandstanding for free publicity is grandstanding for free publicity. In televised sports the press and the media learned that if they don’t show the idiots running naked on the field, then idiots don’t run naked on the field. When is the “real” press going to learn that?
The difference is that the press that covers these circus events is not the qualified, full time legitimate press. These are grasping free lancers – I know about grasping free lancers all to well - who only get paid if they sniff out dirty laundry and whore it out to the real press. NBC, CNN, CBS, MSNBC, Fox, and all the main players don’t go to a sight until it is a legitimate story. That leaves this blood thirsty crew of glorified Paparazzi to cover b.s. events like that psycho releasing doves at Michael Jackson’s acquittal.
Thankfully, we have freedom of speech in this country. Unfortunately, we have selfish jerks who abuse that right to try and make money and or get famous. And that includes these jackals covering all of these self-created media circuses. For the most part, these satellite “journalists” pay their way to these locations so, whether they have to fabricate an issue or not, they are going to find a way to cover their Southwestern flight, Ramada room bill, rental car, TGIF Happy hour tab and, last but not least, their “sensuous message.”
In my opinion, we need to ban all pit bulls, eliminate the designated hitter, stop all falling- magazine-card-subscription thingies and put some sort of license, or qualification to legitimize and muzzlel these media circus press vultures. All press should have to have some legitimate qualification besides having a haircut, a pulse, make-up, and an affected smarmy way of yammering into a microphone.
For “A.L.B.B.,” this has been Alex Kaseberg reporting. Gahhhhdmaaahning and have a synergistic tomorrow.
Kaseberg out.
P.S. We need a national program called Hurricane Assigned Irritating Reporter's Cruelty Unilaterally Terminated, or H.A.I.R.C.U.T., dedicated to saving these poor endangered hurricane reporters.
For some unknown reason, every news director in the country thinks we won’t know a hurricane is windy and wet until they send a flunky reporter down into harms way to tell us. Although, it is true, there is an over-abundance of these smarmy reporters, it is still cruel and unnecessary revenge for the reporter having groped the news director’s drunk, horny wife at the News Team’s Christmas party.
Please give to H.A.I.R.C.U.T. The life you save could be the next Geraldo Rivera.
posted by Alex at
1:01 PM
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