Thursday, February 10, 2005

We crazizzy in this here hizzy todizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Betting the boys
A Welsh rugby fan declared that if Wales beat heavily favored England, he would cut off his testicles. Wales won and he did. Nobody would ever bet their testicles on the Los Angeles Dodgers. Their pitchers give up enough balls as it is.

Guys, for the last time, when it comes to sports bets, take it easy, don’t go nuts.

A Welsh rugby fan declared that if Wales beat heavily favored Briton, he would cut off his testicles. Wales won and he did. Talk about not covering the spread.

Give him credit, since he is from Wales, he could have Welshed on the bet.

Bad times for Kerry
Teresa Heinz Kerry announced she is dropping Kerry as her last name. It gets worse for John, she is also dropping Kerry’s allowance by one hundred bucks.

To be blunt, I don’t care what that whacko Teresa Heinz drops as long as it isn’t her meds.

This is Mark “O’Snake” O’Connor’s awesome joke
Prince Charles is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Camilla Parker Bowles. Parker-Bowles will not acquire the title of queen but she will retain her title of Drag Queen.

In addition he was charged with wearing really ugly sweaters
Several women have accused Bill Cosby of drugging them and then sexually assaulting them. The women claim to have been haunted by the fact that Cosby came on to them in the voice of Fat Albert: “Hey-bada Baby, how-be do-be you-be?”

I don’t want to go into all the details of the charges, let’s just say these women allege Cosby likes to spike his Pudding Pops.

Not fair
“Will and Grace” star Debra Messing stars in the movie “The Wedding Date” about a woman who hires a male escort. What a double standard. A beautiful woman hires a male escort and it’s a romantic comedy; Hugh Grant spends $50 to make friends with Devine Brown on Santa Monica Blvd, and he goes to jail.

It’s serious
Former NBA star Hakeem Olajuwon founded a Houston mosque the government now says backed terrorism. It serious, a judge could find him guilty and sentence Olajuwon to a comeback with the New Orleans Hornets.

Did you see that Super Bowl commercial where Piazza Hut announced they have pizza strips with a dipping sauce? Pizza strips with a dipping sauce. That made me so disgusted I almost dripped my cigarette, my vodka shot and my heroin needle.

Good thing
Amber Frey broke up with her boyfriend. But it was very civil and dignified, unlike her relationship with Scott Peterson, nobody lost their head over this one.

Since you asked:
I think it's time we address the folks responsible for all the passwords and user names on web sites: keep it up and you are on track for a righteous beat-down.

As I visit a lot of joke sites and newspaper sites and news sites, I have to remember a grillion differant passwords and user names. You can never use the user name you want and the passwords either have to be longer than eight letters, or four or no caps or no numbers or no whatever. Get it together, you weasels.

For example, since I got my new computer I have to log on to everything all over again. And for some reason the cookie thing, or pop up, or fire wall or fired cookies pop up turn-over protection thing won't let me on them anyway. I was one keystroke from losing this A.L.B.B. site at Blogger forever.

Not to brag, but . . .

Not to brag, but (remember Nugs and Slats, everything before the "but" is B.S.) grilled marinated mozzerella and sage stuffed chicken breasts served with garlic/sage buttered pasta and tomato and avacados in olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing. So good. So good for you.