Oh, now, you got’s to stops it like that, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Questions for the ages
*This Olympics has raised some questions: How on earth did the Greek hosts finish all that construction on time? How did the under-dog Iraqi soccer team perform so well? How does all that whore makeup stay on the synchronized swimmers in the water?
And he mumbles, just like a little girl
*Bob Dylan is going to release his memoirs in October. It’s interesting, I have an advanced copy. Here Dylan says;
“I’ll never forget the first tiiiiime, tha whamer mumble, wumble waddda whaa ewwww. ”
The book comes with its very own Dylan-speak translator.
Did I mention this?
*How about that gold medal beach volleyball celebration by Kerri Walsh and Misty May? They were so ecstatic, they hugged kissed and fell on top of each other. I tuned in a beach volleyball game and a “Girls Gone Wild” video broke out.
Poo stew
*I don’t want to say the presidential campaign is slimey, but the more I follow the campaign, the more I feel like the Dave Mathews band bus just drove overhead.
The Dave Matthews Band bus allegedly dumped 800 pounds of liquid human waste through the grating of a bridge and onto about 100 happy boat goers on the Chicago river. As if being a Chicago Bulls fan wasn’t bad enough.
The bad news for the driver is that he will probably be fired by the Dave Matthews Band; the good news for the driver is that “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell was so impressed by what he did, he will hire him for his driver.
Arrrrrr, me Matey
*British police arrested radical cleric Abu Hamza al-Masri on suspicion of terrorism links. Al-Masri has two hooks for hands and is blind in one eye. He will be charged with instigating terrorism and the lesser charge of badly impersonating a pirate.
No joke here, just a question
The Olympics has the Decathlon, the Triathlon, the Modern Pentathlon, the women’s Heptathlon. How come it’s the Marathon instead of the Marathlon?
I might have made this one up
*Things are getting set to get ugly in the Iraq militant town of Najaf; the military is threatening to send in the Dave Matthews Band tour bus.
Since you asked;
Oh, Olympics, what a glorious bad girl your are.
When I was a wild young man on the prowl – boy, do I sound like I am about to offer you a hard lemon candy and expound about; “Back in my day….” or what? – I developed a taste for the wild ones: Girls that were flirty drama queens, fun, and pretty, but, in my mind, so nuts they were safe from any potential heartbreak. Who in their right mind would fall for a Wild Girl? Well, as it turns out, I did, every time.
(See: Tom Petty’s great song; “The Wild One, Forever”)
After a couple weeks of gloriously saturated living, it was over.
Well, that’s how I feel about the Olympics. Just about when I am ready to ask the Olympics to not see other people, they announce they are leaving and won’t be back for at least another four years.
What did Ol’ Billy say? ‘Tis better to have loved and lost? I guess so.
But I could make Misty May a happy woman. Just let go of your tall teammate and walk away.
Questions for the ages
*This Olympics has raised some questions: How on earth did the Greek hosts finish all that construction on time? How did the under-dog Iraqi soccer team perform so well? How does all that whore makeup stay on the synchronized swimmers in the water?
And he mumbles, just like a little girl
*Bob Dylan is going to release his memoirs in October. It’s interesting, I have an advanced copy. Here Dylan says;
“I’ll never forget the first tiiiiime, tha whamer mumble, wumble waddda whaa ewwww. ”
The book comes with its very own Dylan-speak translator.
Did I mention this?
*How about that gold medal beach volleyball celebration by Kerri Walsh and Misty May? They were so ecstatic, they hugged kissed and fell on top of each other. I tuned in a beach volleyball game and a “Girls Gone Wild” video broke out.
Poo stew
*I don’t want to say the presidential campaign is slimey, but the more I follow the campaign, the more I feel like the Dave Mathews band bus just drove overhead.
The Dave Matthews Band bus allegedly dumped 800 pounds of liquid human waste through the grating of a bridge and onto about 100 happy boat goers on the Chicago river. As if being a Chicago Bulls fan wasn’t bad enough.
The bad news for the driver is that he will probably be fired by the Dave Matthews Band; the good news for the driver is that “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell was so impressed by what he did, he will hire him for his driver.
Arrrrrr, me Matey
*British police arrested radical cleric Abu Hamza al-Masri on suspicion of terrorism links. Al-Masri has two hooks for hands and is blind in one eye. He will be charged with instigating terrorism and the lesser charge of badly impersonating a pirate.
No joke here, just a question
The Olympics has the Decathlon, the Triathlon, the Modern Pentathlon, the women’s Heptathlon. How come it’s the Marathon instead of the Marathlon?
I might have made this one up
*Things are getting set to get ugly in the Iraq militant town of Najaf; the military is threatening to send in the Dave Matthews Band tour bus.
Since you asked;
Oh, Olympics, what a glorious bad girl your are.
When I was a wild young man on the prowl – boy, do I sound like I am about to offer you a hard lemon candy and expound about; “Back in my day….” or what? – I developed a taste for the wild ones: Girls that were flirty drama queens, fun, and pretty, but, in my mind, so nuts they were safe from any potential heartbreak. Who in their right mind would fall for a Wild Girl? Well, as it turns out, I did, every time.
(See: Tom Petty’s great song; “The Wild One, Forever”)
After a couple weeks of gloriously saturated living, it was over.
Well, that’s how I feel about the Olympics. Just about when I am ready to ask the Olympics to not see other people, they announce they are leaving and won’t be back for at least another four years.
What did Ol’ Billy say? ‘Tis better to have loved and lost? I guess so.
But I could make Misty May a happy woman. Just let go of your tall teammate and walk away.
posted by Alex at
3:24 PM
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