Friday, August 02, 2002

Shameless Plug here for the well written Wahoo Gazette at Dial it up and in, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

(Yes, Mike, I just plugged you.)

An article in the L.A. Times claims that reality shows like “The Osbournes” and “Fear Factor” are designed to appeal to our nation’s rapidly shrinking attention span. Or something like that, I couldn’t seem to finish reading the stupid thing.

The Russian mob has been linked to the ice dancing scandal from the Winter Olympics. You’ve heard of the rumored Hollywood gay mafia, called the Velvet Mafia? This is their cousin, the sequined mafia. You want to stay clear of this ice dancing mafia. They are scary. Their hit man is Tonya Harding. Who in the world bets on ice dancing? Well, besides Mike Piazza. Betting on ice dancing. This explains why Liza Minelli’s husband asked for in increase in his allowance.

The Peep-o-rama, the last adult shop near Time Square in New York has closed down. In a related story, Bill Clinton is now looking to rent out his New York office.

When former congressman James Traficant, was being booked in jail, people were stunned to find out he wore a hairpiece. What do you think manufacturer’s name is for his particular model? Electro-Shocked Squirrel? Free-Falling Schnauzer? Hurricane Head?
Traficant will not be allowed to have his hairpiece in prison. Too bad. Something tells me that is going to free up Traficant’s prison dance card quite a bit.

Britney Spears bolted from the Mexico City stage after just a few songs. She reportedly got upset when somebody explained to her that the chants of; “Cheeches Grande” wasn’t for a high school.

A source says the production of Oprah’s life-advice “Dr. Phil” T.V. show is a train wreck due to a reportedly difficult Dr. Phil’s inability to work with the staff. In fact, Dr. Phil is so much crankier and testy than his T.V. persona, he is only one inside stock trade away from being the next Martha Stewart.

Maybe it's just me, but this Dr. Phil clown looks and acts just like Jeffrey Tambor's Hank Kingsley character from the old and awesome "Larry Sanders Show" on HBO. If you haven't seen it, Tambor's Hank is the ultimate smarmy, self-absorbed entertainment egomaniac who is so utterly full of crap that he has no idea he is actually full of crap. That, to me, is Dr. Phil. Except without the sense of humor to let us in on his joke. Hey Now, Dr. Phil.

Maybe it's just me, but taking advice from a guy with a thick drawl would be like having major surgery performed by a guy with a neck tattoo. Having said that, if I had Dr. Phil's coin, I would burn mine on an August day.

Props, a shout out and other things that a white guy like me shouldn't try to say go out to Los Angeles Sparks Lisa Leslie. She became the first woman to dunk in a WNBA game. So don’t give up hope, Los Angeles Clippers.