Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Charlie Manson is seriously ill and had to be moved from prison to a hospital. Just three days and already 2017 is doing better than 2016.

Following her 48-second MMA loss, Ronda Rousey is on a 45-day medical suspension. Asked to comment, Ronda said, “Do you see all the pretty birdies too?” 

Two time Olympic Decathlon gold medal winner, Ashton Eaton, and his Canadian champion Heptathlete wife, Brianne-Theisen Eaton, are retiring to have a family. How would you like to be a soccer parent on the team with their kid? 

“Coach, could you get a new ball? The Eaton kid just popped another one.”

Are you thinking the three words I am thinking? Caitlyn Jenner Comeback.

A study claims New York could get by with 78% fewer Taxi Cabs. The Cab drivers had no response to the study other than to raise their middle finger.

This study was conducted by people who have never tried to catch a New York cab in the rain. 

This study was conducted by a group of people known as "Not African Americans."

Chicago Style Deep-Dish Since You Asked:

Senator Charles Percy from Illinois was a living example of why politics in Washington has always sucked.

A self-made, smart, dynamic, likable, motivated man who was president of Bell and Howell at age 30 and turned that company from a small camera company into a financial juggernaut, Percy retired filthy rich to run for Senate when he was 48. But to get elected he had to run as a republican even though he was mostly democrat in philosophy. 

That put him in the crosshairs of the then most vindictive and spiteful politicians in history, Richard Nixon. Because republicans thought Percy was too liberal and democrats did not like him because he was a republican, and because Nixon hated him as a Kennedy-like threat hiding in his own party, the most qualified person in Washington to be president, Charles Percy, never stood a chance.

It is also unknown how much the shadow of his daughter’s 1966 murder prevented him from running for president. Although I cannot see why voters would hold that against him, it is possible Percy did not want to put his family through additional scrutiny. 

Jay Cutler always looked to me like a horribly hungover Stan Laurel. But let’s say his expression isn’t his fault.

What killed it for Jay Cutler for me was when the Chicago Bears staged a potentially heartwarming event for a terribly heart-ill 10-year-old Jay Cutler fan wearing a damn Cutler jersey.

And Cutler pouted for the entire ten seconds he had to try and be civil to the kid. Said a few curt words. Signed a ball and then walked away. 

Any athlete,  like Cutler, who claims he does not have responsibility to fans outside the game is an a-hole. If you're a fan wearing a damn Bears jersey, I believe you have a responsibility not to act like a dick. 

Good riddance to Jay Cutler. 

(San Diego addition)
How entitled are billionaires? In addition to not wanting to pay any taxes, although their team's name is the San Diego Chargers, the Spanos family feels neither loyalty nor responsibility to the people of San Diego. 

If a town as big and mostly great as St. Louis can be fine without an NFL team, so can the also incredibly awesome San Diego.

Good riddance to the Spanos. 

Because the media in sports is not political, you don't have to spend much time around people in the sports media to learn what reporters are like: sports reporters are mostly trouble-causing a-holes. (See: Steven Smith and Skip Bayless) 

Liberal or conservative, a reporter's main job is to sell their stories and the best way to do that is to stir up a controversy. They genuinely do not care how much of a dick they have to be to do it. 

Nobody reports on an jerky question from an a-hole reporter that gets unanswered. But if the athlete or coach being asked gets pissed and says something exciting, well that is news. 

In short, the media has nothing to lose and everything to gain by being total dicks. That is why, when they are interviewed, 99% athletes make Russell Wilson sound like Charlie Sheen:

"Well, it was a team effort. We were blessed to do well against an outstanding team, but thanks to all of my great teammates and our wonderful coach, we were able to pull out a hard-fought win and we look forward to our next game against our next great opponent. 

And I would be remiss if I did not say that our owner is a wonder person, a great human being as well as a first class individual."

But I also get it. Which leads to the fact that . . . 

If not held in constant media check, ala Ben "Rapist" Roethlisberger, a prima donna a-hole athlete can destroy an entire franchise for a decade. It happened with Sammy Sosa and the Chicago Cubs before everyone learned Sosa was nothing like the lovable knucklehead we thought he was. 

The expression a locker room cancer may be obscene and inappropriate hyperbole, but that does not mean it is not true. 

Let's face it. As Terry Bradshaw and Michael Irvin prove every time they open their rancid mouths, there are not many entertaining great athletes who are not world record a-holes. 

To end on a more positive note. 

How about those Chicago Cubs? Last time I checked, they were still World Series Champions.