Friday, February 29, 2008

You play it or it play you, playa, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Now that the FBI is investigating Roger Clemens, there is a chance he could do prison time for perjury if found guilty. You thought Clemens lied about what was stuck in his butt before?

What a coincidence

NBC’s “Quarter life” debuted last night to the worst ratings in its time slot in 20 years. To put that in perspective, on CBS over 12 million people watched “Two and a Half Men”. You know how many people watched NBC’s “Quarter life”? Two and a half men.

Hard to imagine

In Australia, a fisherman was washed off board and survived a 12-hour swim to shore. This guy was even more washed up than Ralph Nader.

Time management

Former exotic dancer Diablo Cody won an Academy Award for writing “Juno.” That is amazing, she was able to write a screen play in between lap dancing and studying for medical school.

Former exotic dancer Diablo Cody won an Academy Award for writing “Juno.” The most amazing thing is that Diablo Cody wasn’t even her stripper name. Her stripper name? Janet Reno.


Idaho Senator Larry Craig has announced he is accepting applications for summer interns; the bad news? The applications Craig is accepting for interns are K-Y Jelly, Vaseline and Easy Lube.

One of those guys

Is it just me or does John McCain look like the guy who starts every sentence with “Back in my day”?

Too bad

First congress, then the Department of Justice, now the FBI is going to investigate if Roger Clemens perjured himself about taking steroids. It’s just too bad that Roger didn’t have Osama bin Laden inject steroids into his butt, we would have him in no time.

Ewwwww 2

In Germany an airline announced it will feature all nude flights. And you thought that plane left skid marks on the runway?

Since you asked:
Like many Independents, I am not a fan of the Hillary Clinton for many reasons, mostly that I just think she is a volatile combination when you have a candidate who is so emotional, driven and ruthless as Hillary and who is also pious and smart and a micromanager, you could have what amounts to a combination of two of the worst presidents in my lifetime: The smart, well-meaning, but disastrously bogged-down-with-minutia Jimmy Carter and the politically brilliant, yet insanely vindictive, petty, mean, paranoid and hate-filled Richard Nixon. For me, Hillary is capable of being both Nixon and Carter, for better and for worse.

Now that, I admit, is quite the condemnation. But I will say this. As far behind as Hillary is in both polls and delegates, she still managed to raise $30 million bucks, if she pulls off wins in Texas and Ohio – which she must do to stay alive – I may have to start believing that she is the best Democratic candidate.

Nahhhhhh. Can’t do it. There were eight years of the Clinton administration of having to listen to Hillary tell everyone how great of a Cubs fans she is and the split second she ran for New York Senator she said, with a straight face, that she was also a New York Mets and Yankees fan.

Somebody that evil and duplicitous cannot, should not, and will not be president.