Juicy Goosey, I’ll take you there, play yo, play yo pianuh now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Former Carolina Panther Rae Carruth was released from prison after serving almost 20 years for murdering his pregnant girlfriend. 

When asked to describe his prison sentence, Carruth said it bad, but better than playing for the Cleveland Browns.

If you have not chosen your Halloween costume yet, you cannot go wrong dressing up as a slutty Lindsey Graham.

Charles Barkley said he hasn't worn underwear in ten years. Today, Barkley was barred from entering his dry cleaner.

In Indianapolis, a lioness killer her mate of eight years. She just couldn’t stand to listen him talk about his Fantasy Football team anymore.

Kim Kardashuian is 38, or as she calls it, "This many." (flashing ten fingers, ten fingers, ten fingers and eight fingers)

A year ago, Kim Kardashian had three of her cars broken into. A year later and Kim is proud to announce she has restored all the junk in her trunk.

Good Halloween safety tip:

If you haven't already, take the Saudi Consulate in your town off of your trick-or-treating route.

In London, Melissa Stark took a football to the head broadcasting the Titans-Chargers game.  First time a female sports reporter took a ball to the head not counting the woman who did the "in-depth" interview of Lance Armstrong.

Since you asked:

Friday, I felt like Spencer Stone from the 2015 Thalys train attack. 

No, I did not tackle a terrorist keeping him from killing hundreds, but I did find my friend Paul's lost dog, Ben.