Thursday, August 03, 2017


Sean Spicer turned down being on “Dancing with the Stars.” He did not want to appear bush-league or that he was hedging his bets.



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Donald Trump told “Sports Illustrated,” the White House is a dump. But, seriously, how long can you expect a guy to go without pooping in a gold toilet?  

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50,000 rubber ducks were dumped into the Chicago River to raise money for charity. They hope to raise $250,000 dollars, the exact amount it cost to dump 50,000 rubber ducks into the river. 

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“Girls” creator, Lena Dunham tweeted she was upset overhearing two American Airlines employees transphobic conversation. While the airlines' employees were upset with Lena’s trans-eavesdropping 


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Lonzo Ball father, LaVar Bell, said he could have beaten Michael Jordan one-on-one, Jordan replied he could beat Bell with one leg. That made LaVar hopping mad.


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Happy 40th Birthday to Tom Brady. To celebrate, Tom is going to play Pin-the-Tale on the equipment manager. 


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Donald Trump is off to a 17-day vacation in New Jersey. 17 days is long. Anthony Scaramucci could get hired and fired twice in that time. 


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Donald Trump is off to a 17-day vacation in New Jersey. Actually it is a 10-day vacation that, because it's in New Jersey, just seems like 17 days. 


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We have found the worst way for a man to die: a 30-year-old Swedish man died during penis enlargement surgery. The best way for a man to die? During penis reduction surgery.


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Faye Resnick, Nicole Simpson’s friend who detailed their cocaine use in a tell-all book, said she fears OJ Simpson’s release from prison. When told this could be another tell-all money-making opportunity, Faye Resnic is now delighted about OJ’s release.


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Coyote attacks in So. Cal. are way up. It is so bad, misguided baby boomers are buying Roadrunners to protect themselves. 


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A 30-year-old Swedish man died during penis enlargement surgery. The procedure to make a tiny penis look bigger than it is? It’s called a Scaramucci. 


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A 30-year-old Swedish man died during penis enlargement surgery. Apparently, he asked for the Tommy Lee and his body could not handle it. 



Since you asked:



This is this week’s story about growing up in North Shore of Chicago that sounds like an urban myth, but it is not. 

My buddy’s older brother’s best friend was invited to a Lake Forest (Where Oprah and Michael Jordan lived) rich guy’s daughter’s coming out party circa 1967. Or Debutante Ball. 

The rich dad told his baby girl no expense would be spared, so he asked her what her favorite band was. She said she had two. So he said, fine, we’ll have one band play on Friday night and the other on Saturday night. She told him the names of the bands and he got his top flunky to book them for one night each. 

Before the party, the rich guy dad confided to a parent, “Man, bands have gotten expensive since we were in high school.” He thought they were just local Chicago bands. 

They were The Doors and Cream.