Ivanka Trump’s perfume is the #2 seller on Amazon’s beauty list. Not doing well? Eric Trump’s cologne, Eu De Douche.

The good news is scientists have discovered a new continent near New Zealand called Zealandia. The bad news is Trump has banned their immigrants. 

In VA, two women from Mongolia were caught trying to smuggle 13 pounds of horse genitals. Customs became suspicious when they asked them how many days they would be in the US and they stomped the number out with their foot.

The custom agents thought they seemed too cocky.

But it was a balsy thing to do. 

(Stefan Mercier) 

California is getting a lot of rain. In Los Angeles it rained so much it washed someone into a theater showing “Manchester By The Sea.” 

In Beverly Hills, it washed a Whole Foods shopper into a 7-Eleven. 

Kraft Heinz and Pepsi Cola should merge. Then they would be Kraphola Fienz Pitsci. 

Since you asked:

And I shall call it Lex’s Tomato Macasotto. 

Invented my own dish. Take a sauce pan, fill it  3/4 with Trader Joe tomato soup. Fill half of that soup - or more -  with elbow pasta. Throw in lots of grated parmesan cheese, a few shots of hot sauce, some garlic powder, salt and pepper. Simmer for 10 minutes. 

It’s as if Mac and Cheese, tomato soup and risotto had a sassy and saucy bastard of a child. With a little zing. 

Just watched “Ricki and The Flash.” Do yourself a favor. Don’t. 

How is it possible for the greatest actor of all time, Meryl Streep, to have a good cast including her daughter, Mamie Gummer, who is damn good, and the always awesome, Kevin Kline, and still have a movie suck hind moose boobies? 

Well it do. It looked like the director was some stoner high school junior who won a prize in a "Why I want to Direct a Movie" writing contest. 

It was good to know there were some things Meryl can't do. She can't save a movie with a crappy script and lousy director and she can't sing and play guitar at the same time. Her singing is . . . OK.  

But the movie did have wildly underrated drummer, Joe Vitale, and the always cool Rick Springfield, who can play a mean guitar and sing. 

Pounders Sports Bar in Escondido. Big ass stage in back with a sound booth.

And the movie brought back vivid awesome memories of playing harmonica with the band, The Railheads, at great bars like Pounders in Escondido. If there is anything better to do on Friday night than rocking out with your pals at a great joint with awesome people dancing, I do not know what it is. 

One the brighter side of film, Netflix with World Wide Pants and Rob Burnett made a good movie with Paul Rudd and - you won't believe this - Selena Gomez called "The Fundamentals of Caring." (Which is Aloha, by the way) 

Selena kicks some solid ass. Quite good acting chops. So does Burnett's script kick ass. Funny and touching. Rudd is awesome as always and the kid in the chair playing a character with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, Craig Roberts, a brit, steals the damn thing. 

Did some work for "Kick For The Cure" with my pal, Paul Buckley for Duchenne's. 

Clay Matthews III is also a supporter.