A woman in Delaware was arrested for having sex too loudly. They even changed the Delaware motto from Liberty and Independence to “Keep It Down, Betty White.”

Seattle QB, Russell Wilson, and Ciara finally consummated their marriage. It got awkward when, at the last minute, Tom Brady won the honeymoon. 

Seattle QB, Russell Wilson, and Ciara finally consummated their marriage. Not to go into details, but suffice it to say Tom Brady isn’t the only one with shrunken balls. 

Taj Motels are offering free Wifi on up to four devices. And if you need five devices, they have a special Hipster Douche-Bag package.

Ex-NBA star, Gilbert Arenas, posted a video making jokes about killing Nick Taylor’s baby mama. With friends like Arenas, who needs explosive diarrhea?  

A JAMA psychiatry study claims watching too much pornography can shrink you’re brain. Or for some of you . . . porn . . . no . . . good . . . for . . . inside . . . head. 

A story about a Philadelphia woman shoplifting Walmart fireworks in her vagina, and they exploded, is a hoax. Of course its a hoax. A, it would have been a dude, B, they would be in his butt and, C, it would have happened in Florida. 

Donald Trump might pick his daughter, Ivanka as his running mate. That ticket would be so incestuous they would have to play “Deliverance” banjo music every time they appeared. 

In Rio, a foot washed up on the Olympic beach volleyball venue. On the bright side, they finally found part of Jimmy Hoffa. 

After 20 years, the Spice Girls are going on a reunion tour. Let’s see, there is Scary, Posh, Sporty, Ginger, and Baby. And for this tour they’re adding Kim Kardashian, Chlamydia Spice. 

A JAMA psychiatry study claims watching too much pornography can shrink you’re brain. In a related story, (finger in lips) bebeahabehbehabeehabah. 

In Euro 2016, France beat Germany, 2-0. The exact opposite score of the World Wars.