Leading up to Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, it was revealed last year’s Triple Crown winner, American Pharoah, gets paid $600,000 a day to mate three times a day. That is most anyone in sports has been paid to have sex since Elin Nordegren divorced Tiger Woods.

American Pharoah gets paid $200,000 to have sex and he does it three times a day. To reiterate, our lives suck compared to a horse's.