Today is National Napping Day. Or as Dr. Ben Carson calls it: Zzzzzzzzzz. 

In California, a lawyer is suing her law school because she does not have a job. It is benchmark legal case known as Douche Bag Vs. Douche Bags. 

A video shows a man in at the Memphis Kellogg plant urinating into Rice Krispies cereal. Now, instead of snap, crackle, pop, it is whiz, tinkle, pee. 

Kellogg’s response? “For a short time only, Rice Krispies is now available with extra iron and potassium.” 

A Serbian bomb-sniffing dog discovered two missiles from Lebanon bound for Portland, Oregon. Luckily the dog was not encrypted . 

The debate continues as to whether Apple should allow access of the San Bernardino terrorist’s encrypted phones. My understanding of encryption is on par with a dog’s understanding of getting his picture taken. 

It’s National Pi day. The math kind of Pi, not the Chris Christie kind of pie.

The top ISIS leader, Omar the Chechen, has been killed by a US drone strike. Now that Omar the Chechen is gone, who’s next in line? Oscar the Grouch? 

The list of celebrities and politicians who support Donald Trump includes Chris Christie, Sarah Palin, Gary Busey, Mike Tyson, Steven Seagal and Ted Nugent. How is OJ Simpson not on this list? 

The good news is Sarah Palin’s husband, Todd Palin, is expected to fully recovery from broken ribs from a snowmobile accident. Todd Palin described the snowmobile accident as cold, scary and quite painful. But all things considered still better than being married Sarah Palin. 

Donald Trump is that weird rich kid in second grade who nobody liked who bribed everyone with Tonka Toy trucks and Barbie dolls to come to his birthday party.