L.A. Clipper, Blake Griffith, will miss up to six weeks with a broken hand from punching an assistant. If Blake played for the Knicks he would be fine. He would have missed.

“USA Today” claims Ted Cruz’s personality is a problem. Is it just me, or does Ted Cruz remind you of the guy working at the DMV who is way too happy about closing the window of the line you’re standing in on your face? 

Is it just me, or does Ted Cruz remind you of the used car salesman who repeatedly asks; “Can I be honest with you?” 

Is it just me, or does Ted Cruz remind you of the assistant bank manager who is way too happy about telling you he won’t cash your check? 

Is it just me, or does Ted Cruz remind you of the used car salesman who repeatedly bends over to check his hair in the car’s sideview mirrors? 

Is it just me, or does Ted Cruz remind you of the used car salesman who greets people with; “What can I do you for?” 

Is it just me or does Ted Cruz look like he licks his thumb before peeling bills off his giant pimp roll of cash? 

Carolina Panthers linebacker, Thomas Davis, broke his arm against the Cardinals, but he plans to play in the Super Bowl. In a related story, I once stayed home from work because I was having a bad hair day. 

The National Transportation Safety Board is asking congress to lower the legal blood alcohol limit from .08 to .05. .05 is considered sober, .10 is slightly intoxicated and .15 is;  “Damn, Adele, why your “Hello” got to be so real and bitch me up like this?” 

Donald Trump claims “Fox News” Megyn Kelly is obsessed with him. Oh my word, you two, get it over with and make-out after school behind the gym. 

Dear Brits:

What gives you the gall to just spell stuff like Colour and Aluminium and Cosy? 

What if we did thatt? Just threuw in I’s and U’s and whateveruer letter in a wourd wheneveruer wee wantid tooo? Juust whatt dou youu think you’re doiing? Namiing NFL playeurs? 

(Just a jokue. Relaxx) 

This song came so close to being great. The haunting beat, melody and searing guitar licks are great. The lyrics and Henley low-talking/singing the lyrics suck.

If this song had the Henley torch love song lyrics and scorching-high singing style of “Boys of Summer” or “Forgiveness” combined with the great Eagle harmonies, this would be a classic. 

Rumor has it Henley was promised a role in a Western by world class Hollywood a-hole and coke and whore addict, Don “Top Gun” Simpson. And Simpson blew Don off. This was Henley’s attempt at getting even. 

When evil mass murdering dictator, North Korea’s Kim Jong Il, started making movies, the joke in Hollywood was he was the second biggest a-hole in movies to Simpson.