Tuesday, December 29, 2015

The Times Square Olive Garden is offering a $400 New Year’s Special. And for an extra $100, you can use the bathroom where Snookie’s baby, Giovanna, was conceived. 

Kansas City is having a fantastic year in sports with the Royals winning the World Series and now the Chiefs playing great. No fans are more deserving, they are tops. But sports and barbecue aren't the only things going on in Kansas City, you have, well, for example there is. And don’t forget.  Hey, how about those Chiefs? 

A German man died after trying to blow up a condom vending machine to rob it. Which qualifies this crime as almost Florida-like.  

Speaking of Floridiots:

Miko Grimes mug shot after she head-butted a police officer. Shades of the Algonquin round table.

The Miami Dolphins’ latest loss prompted the wife of cornerback Brent Grimes, Miko Grimes, to take to Twitter to blame quarterback, Ryan Tannehill, for the Dolphin’s losing season. Tweets Miko:

“How many people does ryan tannehill have to get fired before you realize he’s the problem,” she wrote. “Yall do realize no legitimate coach will come here if he’s our qb, right? we’re screwed as long as he’s under center! just admit it!”

And Miko is absolutely right. 

Until the Dolphins can find a quarterback who can develop an app that can edit the obscene, second-grade level Tweets from an attention-whore, gold-digging shrew-wife of an over-paid, over-age, under-performing cornerback, the Dolphins do not stand a chance. 

(Hopefully that QB's Twitter-editing app will also correct run-on sentences on the blogs of lame comedy writers)

Can someone explain to me why this blog has 1,443 page views in Russia?  Anyone? Bueller?  Miko? Bueller? Putin?

This just in: Miko Grimes has a new nickname in the NFL: "Ten-Foot Pole.” As in what the other teams will not touch her husband, Brent, with after he’s cut thanks to Miko's Twitter sewage. 

You cannot get a better indication of how awful the San Diego Chargers’ organization is than their miss-treatment of a great and gutsy player, Eric Weddle. From the mishandling of Dan Fouts to John Carney to Weddle, the Spanos gang has been consistently inept all the way.

How utterly missable is “Jurassic World”? Nobody is a bigger Chris Pratt fan, but by the end I was pulling for the dinosaurs. They don’t let Pratt be Pratt. They try to turn him into Harrison Ford. You can hear the director yelling for him to smolder and steely-stare. And the redhead woman’s character is not likable at all. I’m sure Ronnie’s little girl, Dallas, is normally fine, but not in this. They went through the motions: "Dinosaurs run amok. Repeat."

Say what you want about that rude little Peter Pan Geico bastard; the red-headed lil' sombitch can sing like a mofizzy. 

Noticed my bad phone days and bad tech/computer days seem to come in batches. (Badges? We don' need no stinking' badges.") No, batches, not badges.