Wally with his beloved new Christmas toy, Squeaky Snake

Officials in San Francisco are after graffiti artists who promoted Justin Bieber’s latest album “Purpose” by spraying it on sidewalks. Authorities are not after Bieber because, well, whoever wrote it spelled it correctly. 

Iraqi forces have driven ISIS out of Ramadi. Asked to comment about Ramadi driving out ISIS, Donald Trump said; “I always stay at the Hyatt.” 

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has been so successful, they’ve begun work on the next one: “Star Wars: We Don’t Quite Have All The Money.” 

Two female Louisiana high school English teachers were charged with having a three-way with a sixteen-year male student. Both women are facing jail and the boy is facing a lifetime of never having a Christmas this good ever again. 

Google and Ford are teaming up to build a driverless car. So one day soon, you too may own a Gooflord. 

 It is unseasonably warm for Christmas in New York. That thing on Donald Trump’s head has begun to molt.