Talking of his Tweets, Donald Trump said; “Somebody said I am the Ernest Hemingway of 140 characters.” Upon hearing this, Ernest Hemingway described himself as; “The rotisserie chicken of spinning corpses.” 

A feminist blogger made sourdough bread using the yeast from her vagina. To see the recipe, go to: WWW.YouMayNeverEatAgain.com. 

MNF Lexervations

Anyone who watches those GMC truck commercials who think they’re making $7,700 by buying a truck needs to stop drinking. They just lowered the amount you’re getting ripped-off by $7,700.

Big fan of Jon Gruden, but he sounds more and more like the old “SNL” “Dah Bearsssss” skit.

The amount of turf injuries in the NFL is ridiculous. If Phoenix, with a domed stadium, can grow grass outside and roll it in, any stadium can have real grass. 

Somehow the refs have been as bad as the old replacement refs. Whatever you do, refs, always remember, especially Ed Hochuli, that the real reason we really tune in a game is to hear you make a call. 

Did I have a brain episode, or can I understand what Bob Dylan says in those IBM Watson commercials?

Even though he was a non-factor in the game, he was a factor in the commercials. Gronk can Gronk like no Gronk has ever Gronked before. It is good to be the Gronk. Gronk on, Gronk, Gronk on. 

This isn’t a “MNF” thing, but the more a chef uses molecular gastronomy, the more of a douche-bag they are. 

Thinking of making a video game about Charlie Sheen and call it “Call of Booty.” No I’m not.

No tattoos are the new tattoos. If everyone is a rebel, nobody is a rebel. 

Wonder what penalties that old referee, Gerry Austin, called during the Custer-Sitting Bull game?