Monday, September 21, 2015

At the Emmys, host Adam Samberg, gave out an "HBO Now" account information that worked. And yet even free, the second season of “True Detective” is not worth it.

 “The Philadelphia Daily News” is going to ask the Pope for help with the 0-2 Eagles when he arrives. To which a spokesman for the Pope said; “Hey, god already tried to help the Eagles, but they cut Tim Tebow.” 

There is a video of a rat carrying a slice of pizza down the stairs of the New York subway. An eyewitness from Brooklyn was disgusted. The pizza was neither artisan-made, nor made from locally grown, seasonal and sustainable ingredients.


A good tip to help deal with the heat is to say, in front of a captive audience, co-workers or your family and friends, in your best Karl "Sling Blade" voice:

“It is hotter than butt-hump a daaawwwwwwwg. Hmmm.”

And say it over and over and over again. Now that seems like it might be annoying, but trust me it is not. You cannot say it enough times.

“Week two in the NFL and we are already seeing the separation of the contenders from the pretenders,” is something some douchebag on Fox  NFL might say.

Apparently the producers of “Fox Sports” hate Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long and Jimmy Johnson as much as we do. Old big white guys cannot take the heat. Trust me, I know. So where did they stick those bloated egomaniac dick-bags? On the red carpet at the Emmys on one of LA’s hottest days. 

Now I have been places and ‘et in hotels, but I ain’t never seen no rat carrying a piece-o-pizza down the subway stairs. That is a special kind of awesome. Normally in the Fall the New York Subway rats order Chinese.