Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Now, I do not have the scientific evidence to back this statement up, but I am willing to bet cash-folding money Wally is the Walliest Wally of all Wally dogs. 

This just in: 

They found the prison underwear of the two escaped murderers in upstate New York. So the criminals are said to be armed and free-balling.

The U.S. Open and Shut Case

The choice to play the US Open at the highly questionable Chambers Bay golf course is being widely and wildly criticized. In fact, the choice of that course was so bad people suspect NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and FIFA had to be involved.

At the US Open, the golf course, Chambers Bay, was not popular with the players. One player refused to call it a cow pasture because that would be abusive to cows.

The golf course, Chambers Bay, is wild. A nearby boathouse caught on fire. One player, Jason Day, passed out with vertigo due to the dizzying ups and downs. There are creepy ruins on the coarse. Wild, brown and barren crazy-big hills and sand dunes. This isn’t a golf tournament, it is a Tim Burton movie. Chambers Bay is where they should film the sequel to “Beetle Juice.” Or the next Mad Max.

For the first time in golf history, marijuana was allowed on the golf course. And also, for the first time, the golf course looked like it was designed by someone stoned out of their mind.

You could tell a lot of the fans at Chambers Bay were stoned:

1, This explains the record number of fans who giggled and said; “His name is Tiger.”

2, Lots of hysterical laughter anytime the announcers said balls, hole, shaft or shank.

3, This explains why, when the players tee off, the fans are shouting; “You the rasta man.”

4, This makes it a course where both bogeying and Bogarting are discouraged.

And if you don't think karma is a beyatch? Look at Tiger Woods. It has gotten so bad people would feel sorry for him if he wasn't Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods and Nike's scorched-earth policy - ala Michael Jordan - when Tiger was unbeatable has caught up to them with a vengeance. 

When the announcers compliment Jordan Speith, as they should, by proxy they are slamming the legacy of the young Tiger Woods: 

"He is so nice and friendly. He has such class. So great to the fans. The players love him. He is an ambassador for the game. He never loses his temper. Total grace."

All of these compliments are thinly veiled, passive-aggressive slams at how purely awful Tiger Woods was and is. 

At the US Open in Washington at Chambers Bay, many of the players, including Sergio Garcia, were complaining about the conditions. Hearing a rich golfer complain about a golf course is like listening to a lottery winner whine about taxes.

Having admitted that the greens were bad, there is a new face of entitlement and his name is Billy Horschell. His antics on the course to mock the poor thankless greens-keeper and the USGA officials were utterly classless. This a guy -albeit a great athlete and golfer - whose face is made for slapping.

But the greens were horrible. Not a fan of how the announcers for “Fox Sports 1” toed the company line, drank the Kool-Aid, sucked up to the sponsors. They should have called it like it was.  The greens were unplayable. Some players just survived better than others. 

The US Open is great because it punishes players for bad shots. Chambers Bay punished players for good shots. That is not fair.

That isn't fair even to smug little schmucks, like Sergio Garcia and Billy Horschell.