Take a pill, Robocop, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers






Burger King has agreed to pay for Joel Burger and Ashley King's Burger-King wedding. Not only that, Burger King promises Ashley she will get a Whopper on her honeymoon.

Indiana tourism is working hard to control the damage done by the anti-gay law on gay tourists. Their new slogan is: “Come to Indiana and go on a haaaayyyyyyyyy ride.”

There is even a proposal to change the name of the town Muncie to Downton Abbey. 

116-year-old Gertrude Weaver died six days after inheriting the title “World’s Oldest Person.” Not sure which job title has a shorter life span, World’s Oldest Person, Second in command of al Qaeda or Justin Bieber’s publicist.

116-year-old Gertrude Weaver died six days after inheriting the title “World’s Oldest Person” now the title goes to 116-year-old Jeralean Talley. To which Ms. Talley said; “Thanks, but I’m good. No thanks.”

Duke beat Wisconsin to the NCAA Championship. After the game, the rowdy Duke fans rioted. Well, not really rioted, but the Duke hipsters threw their wool caps in the air and they spilled chai lattes.

Because of Wrigley Field renovations, Chicago Cubs fans had to resort to using their beer cups to urinate in. And you don't want to know what they had to use their plastic mini nacho helmets for. 

(Yes, the double ending-a-sentence-with-a-preposition)