On Twitter, Miley Cyrus called Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, the A-word for signing an anti-gay “religious freedom” bill into law. That’s fine, but I am going to wait and see what Taylor Swift thinks.

Tex. Sen. Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Is it just me, or does Teddy the C look like that guy who always disappears when the bill comes?

Is it just me, or does Teddy the C look like that guy who sits next to you on a flight and brags incessantly about his credit card points? ("Did I tell you I paid for this flight with my points?" "About six times.")

Is it just me, or does Teddy the C look like that guy at the poker game who keeps asking about the rules and yet wins all the hands?

Tex. Sen. Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Maybe it’s just me, but, Teddy the C looks like that guy you play golf with who constantly tells you you’re standing too close to the ball . . .  after you hit it. And laughs each time.

Maybe it’s just me, but Teddy the C looks like that guy who asks you to stop him if you’re heard this joke before, you try to stop him, but he tells it anyway. (Wait, no, that’s me)

Maybe it’s just me, but Teddy the C looks like that guy who, when you ask him not to tell you the big game’s score because you recorded it, tells you anyway.



Since you asked:

Not to dwell on myself too much, but . . . (remember, Slats and Nugs, everything before the but is B.S.)

Right now my comedy writing career is absolute proof that if you are lucky to be born with (thanks mom and dad) a genuine sense of humor, work hard at improving that talent and steadfastly devote yourself to working hard and being honest and loyal in the headlong pursuit of your dream, you can still be an utter and abject failure.

Believe me, I am not delusional. Without any doubt, I know too well there are far more talented and flat-out funnier comedy writers than me all over the fields of entertainment, literature and even business.

But of those comedy writers who are better than me, or even my equal, I am willing to wager not many of them are paid less than me.  

(Not including the heroically under-appreciated comedian, Steve Agee. And he wrote for "Jimmy Kimmel Live" for three years) 

That is enough whining for today. Can you tell I was close to getting a great comedy/sports writing job and did not? Really? That obvious?

Will have to work on that . . . (heavy sigh) 

On a more positive note:

Somebody was nice enough to send me a video of Gordon Ramsey and it was titled, provocatively, “How to cook the perfect steak.” Note, it did not say grilling the perfect steak.

That is because he did not grill it, he cooked it on a stove.

(Take the requisite time to gasp in horror)

Believe me, I am still an ardent griller. The wonderful taste of hard wood smoke, usually lump oak, is a regular ingredient in my food. And for convience and smoke, the gas grill is unmatched. And when it comes to a really good – read: expensive – cut of meat, either gas with a smoker box or lump charcoal is the only way to go.

But if you have a good, but not great, piece of meat, like a lesser grade rib-eye in this case, or a top sirloin, or hanger steak, doing it on a cast-iron pan with salt, pepper, finely ground coffee, olive oil and finishing it with butter is the way to go.