Monday, March 30, 2015

My god, Woodrow, it’s been quite a party, ain’t it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

The porn industry is considering moving out of the porn capital of the world, the San Fernando Valley, to Las Vegas. Because what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas. Usually on her face.  

South African surgeons were able to successfully attach a fully functioning penis on a 22-year-old man for the first time. And no, the donor was not Bruce Jenner.

Lululemon sportswear has made pants labeled with the acronym, ABC pants, for Anti-Ball-Crushing pants. The anti-ball-crushing pants work too, they are field-tested by Kardashian men.

Former tech executive, republican Carly Fiorina, announced she is probably running for president and then attacked Hillary Clinton’s character. Girls, girls, girls, don’t fight, you’re both pretty.

Indiana has passed “religious freedom” law that allows store owners not to serve gay people. “That’s funny. No, seriously, that is hilarious,” said Indiana Crate and Barrel managers.

Well, we are down to the final four. Not in the NCAA tournament, we’re talking about the number of people who believe Hillary’s e-mail erasing excuse.

Two men dressed as women tried to crash their car into a Maryland NSA facility. For the love of god, get some help, Bruce Jenner.

Justin Bieber told “USA Today” “My life is not easy.” “That must be terrible, I feel so sorry for him,” said ten-year-old Asian factory workers.