Wednesday, February 25, 2015

So I got that going for me, which is nice, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A blind Minnesota man, thanks to a bionic eye-implant, saw his wife for first time in ten years. It didn’t go so well at first. His first word was; “Mom?”

“Dancing with the Stars” unveiled their new lineup and it includes Riker Lynch, Redfoo and Robert Herjavec. When did “Dancing with the Stars” turn into “Dancing with People We Have to Google”?

Of course, Kanye West is furious Beyonce wasn’t chosen.

The two Boston Red Sox stars are Pablo Sandoval and David Ortiz. But, if you’ve seen how big Ortiz and Sandoval are, the real star of the Red Sox will be the clubhouse buffet chef.

Investigators of the Bruce Jenner Malibu crash say Jenner was guilty of driving “HUA” or Head Up Ass. Sadly, HUA that is an inherited Jenner/Kardashian congenital condition.

New Sec. of Defense, Ashton Carter, said he is open to the idea of transgenders serving in the military. Great news for Brigadier General Brucelina Jenner.

Since you asked: 

Seriously, how bad could this rumored Dallas Cowboy receiver, Dez Bryant, sex-or-whatever video be? Goats? Midgets? Oh no. You don’t suppose? It can’t be. Say it isn’t so. He slept with Madonna?

The category of LGTBs is way too narrow. It should include Lesbians, Gay, Transgender, Bi-Sexual, Drunk-girls-kissing-a-girl-at-a-bar-to-turn-on-guys-but-who-get-turned-on-themselves, Guys-who-accidentally-sported-wood-at-a-shirtless-Ryan Gossling, Guys-who-act-gay-to-get-girls-to-convert-them, and Girls-who-went-lesbian-for-the-night-because-they-didn’t-want-to-shave-their-legs.