Hello, Conan O'Brien writers. 

A female beagle, Miss P, won the Westminster Dog Show’s Best in Show. Although Kanye West thought it should have gone to Beyonce.

Rapper Vanilla Ice was arrested in Florida for grand theft and burglary for stealing furniture from a vacant house. That isn’t like Vanilla Ice to take something that doesn’t belong to him. Unless you count his entire music career.

A New Jersey teacher, 35-year-old, Nicole DuFault, has been found guilty of having sex with six different male high school students. Six students. Apparently she was teaching a seminar on multi-tasking.

Although she is a language teacher, she claims she was trying to demonstrate math to the boys on how many times 14 and 15 goes into 35.

During Ashton Carter’s swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Defense, V.P. Joe Biden was seen holding the shoulders of Carter’s wife, Stephanie, and whispering in her ear. Maybe it’s just me, but if I’m going to flirt in public with a guy’s wife, it isn’t going to be the guy who can unleash Seal Team 6 on my sorry butt.