Thursday, February 12, 2015

Shep Shap Sheppy and The Shippy Shap Schoops, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

With five arrests since the Super Bowl, the NFL is on track to shatter their yearly average of 50 arrests. At that point the NFL will stand for Nefarious Felon Larcenists.

On “Family Feud” a normal looking mom was asked; “Name something a doctor might pull out of you,” and she said; “A gerbil.” Congratulations, Madonna, you are no longer the most embarrassing mom in the country.

Tiger Woods announced he is going to take a leave of absence. Oh no, did he lie about getting shot at in Iraq too?

Tiger plans to relax and take a low-paying cubicle job that will give him a chance to enjoy hours of commuting in heavy traffic.

Jackie Robinson West Little League team has been stripped of their National title for breaking the rules. Officials became suspicious when their cleanup hitter was this huge kid named Shmalex Shmodriguez.

The movie “50 Shades of Grey” opens this weekend. Or as guys call it: foreplay.

Bruce Jenner's November Baja truck crash.

Since you asked:

Bruce Jenner ain’t near out of the woods on this car crash.

New photos and videos have emerged that might put him back in the path of being charged with vehicular manslaughter for reckless driving and following too closely.

Bruce’s penchant for speeding and reckless driving is well known. That is why the Kardashian P.R. machine had the excuse “The paparazzi was chasing him” spring-loaded before Bruce even got out of the car. They knew something like this would happen.

Bruce recently crashed a dune-truck in the Baja 1,000. This brings the number of Bruce’s crashes to too many. He used to race – and race very recklessly, like Baja – in every celebrity car race there was. Usually either doing pretty well or crashing.

His numerous road-rage incidents against the paparazzi have been well-documented.

From the second he won the gold medal in the Decathlon in 1976, Bruce Jenner has been constantly playing with toys. And playing hard. Jets skis, sailing his catarmaran, flying his Bonanza single-engine plane, skiing, playing celebrity tennis tournaments. 

Rick Telander’s “Not the Bruce Jenner I Knew” “Chicago Sun Times” 2-10-15 article mentions how Bruce has been emotionally castrated by Kris being reduced to merely playing with toy planes in his backyard. He also sadly polished the motorcycles Kris won’t let him ride.

Although I am not a psychologist, what has become painfully clear is Jenner, the man/boy with the Peter Pan complex, constantly playing with toys, was actually a tomboy who really wanted to grow up to be a woman.  So he put off being a grown man as much as he could.

Sadly, Bruce Jenner’s life of recklessly playing with toys to avoid his life may have cost someone their life.