A book claims Jesus Christ was married with two children. When Jesus got frustrated with his misbehaving kids he would yell, “Oh, myself.” And “Dad damn it.”

A woman in Colorado gave birth to a baby girl weighing almost 14 pounds. When asked what the baby’s name is, the mother replied “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

The father could not comment due to his constant weeping and sobbing.

Nobody was seriously hurt, but in New Orleans, a 30’ish woman was caught on security camera calmly stabbing passers-by.  She was charged with two counts of aggravated battery and having one serious-ass case of PMS.

The Fantasy football season is winding down. Those Fantasy Football guys are going to have to start paying more attention to their imaginary girlfriends.

My Fantasy team failed to make the playoffs again. Maybe I don't follow the NFL closely enough, but I can't understand why my two running backs, Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice, had such a lousy season.

Serves me right for naming my team the Cosby Cocktail. 

In Utah, to punish their unruly three children, John and Lisa Henderson, cancelled Christmas. That’s fine, but just remember to schedule them for therapy for the rest of their lives.

. Cushing

Top Ten Most Underrated Eagles songs:

“Saturday Night” Torch song by Henley on “Desperado.” “She said tell me, oh tell me, was I alright.” Then “She said tell me, oh tell me, are you alright?”

“Certain Kind of Fool” Also on “Desperado.” Meisner was wildly underused as a singer, especially later on. The bad news is you can hear producer Glyn Johns sloppy recording job. The opening guitar chords are out of key.

“Tryin’” Again, Randy Meisner. Surprisingly rocking song on the first album, “Eagles.” Henley’s early drum work is reminiscent of that drumming monkey toy you wind up. By “Hotel California” his drums have come a long way, but they needed to.

“Try and Love Again” Randy Meisner again. One of the top songs on “Hotel California.”

“Hollywood Waltz” On “One of These Nights.”  Sympathetic ballad.

“After the Thrill is Gone” Frey and Henley duet with the title a nod to B.B. King. Henley sings "What do you do when your dreams come true and it's not quite like you had planned?" What do you do? You shut up and stop whining. 

“King of Hollywood” As disappointing as the coked-up “The Long Run” was, this song has a haunting melody and scorching guitar licks and solos.

“Ol’ 55” Got to say, Tom Waits purists hate this slick cover, but Frey did a great job staying true to the song. On “On the Border.”

“Train Leaves Here This Morning” Classic Bernie Leadon on “Eagles.” You can just watch as Bernie’s input is stifled more and more on each coming album. Too bad. They desperately needed his touch on "The Long Run."

“Good Day in Hell” on “On the Border.” This is what got Don “Fingers” Felder in the band. His slide guitar is awesome.

Here is the ranking of all past and current Eagles by order of talent.

Randy Meisner. Great singer, great bass player, great song writer. Bad performer. Too shy to be a rock star.

Don Henley. Great singer, great lyricist, from-bad-to-good drummer, bad performer. But he got much better at performing in his solo career.

Don Felder. World class guitar player and good song writer. If he wrote nothing else but “Hotel California” and “Victim of Love” that would be enough. Terrible singer. Amazing at guitar solos.

Joe Walsh. World class guitar player, great performer, good songwriter, so-so singer. A true gift for writing song hooks guitar jams, ala "Turn to Stone" and "Life in the Fast Lane." 

Bernie Leadon. Great guitar player, world class banjo picker, good singer and song writer. Just so ambivalent to rock and roll. Bluegrass is his first love and it shows.

Timothy B. Schmidt. Right up there with Meisner as a sweet and high singing bass player. Good song writer. Not a bad performer.

J.D. Souther. Yes, never an official Eagle, but the voice and songwriting are a huge reason why the Eagles were the Eagles. Including song writer Jack Tempchin. And Steve Young.

Glenn Frey. Sorry, Glen, but I was in a band where the biggest ego had the least talent and it sucks. OK singer. Can play the piano. So-so guitar player. Fairly good performer.  Because Frey collaborated with great song writers, hard to tell if the guy who made the other members of the band invent the phrase “Write a word, get a third” was any good or just lucky. (Change one lyric and get a third of the song writing royalties, ala Jackson Browne’s “Take it Easy”)

To give Frey some credit, in "History of the Eagles" I was shocked to learn so many of the Eagles iconic lyrics and titles came from Frey. "Life in the Fast Lane" "She can't hide her lyin' Eyes" Just assumed it was the bookish Henley. 

Yes, there are two sides to every story, but it seems clear Frey was the guy who drove out Leadon and Meisner.  And then fired Felder. Without Frey's vision and lust and ego, the Eagles don't rock harder and come out with "Hotel California". 

But once they established they could rock, they should have headed back to where they were. Look at how popular "Seven Bridges Road" was and that was a vintage early Eagles song. 

It is a sad testimony of the lack of impact this blog has when I lambaste three of the most litigious entities in the US, Glenn Frey, Don Henley and Nike, and I have not been sued once.