A US student in Germany had to be helped by 22 emergency workers after getting stuck in a giant vagina statue. Technically this is called: Getting Kanye’d in the Kardashian.

I’m not sure all US sports fans get the World Cup; I heard one say three of the best teams were the Netherlands, Holland and that really good Dutch team.

It looks like France will play Germany. What France might do is let Germany roll over them and then wait for the US to defeat Germany. What? Too soon?

Things I said to my wife (but I wish I hadn't)

A: Me: Are you packed?

Virg: Yes, I just have to put everything in the suitcase.

Me: You just defined not being packed.

B: You realize in order to get there we will, eventually, have to leave?

C: You drive like old people eat.

D: Me: Where did you put that grilling utensil I try to keep in the utinsel jar by the stove, but you keep hiding it where no sane person would look? 

Virg: It is in the third drawer in the garage.

Me: Why?

Virg: Because you go to the garage to get charcoal, and so it is in the drawer closest to where you keep the charcoal. 

E: You do realize I am watching the same movie with you for the first time? Any question you ask, I will, like you, not know the answer.