The earthquake Friday in LA was worse than we thought, there are reports it actually shook Bruce Jenner into a Hooters.

The earthquake Friday in LA was worse than we thought, there are reports it actually shook Gwyneth Paltrow inside of an office building.

Is it just me, or does Kim Jong Un always look like he just had sex with a blow-up doll while eating a corn dog? 

After three weeks of searching, all we know is where the Malaysian flight 370 is not. 

It is not, despite rumors otherwise, in any of the Kardasian’s giant orifices.

It is not being held ransom in Vladimir Putin’s phony volcano while Vlad gently strokes his white cat.

It was not hijacked by Kim Jong Un and given as a present to Dennis Rodman.

It was not blasted by Donald Trump’s giant make-things-invisible ray gun.

It was not stuck trying to log into Obama’s HealthCare.gov.

It was not consciously uncoupled by Gwyneth Paltrow.

It was not destroyed in the NCAA brackets when Duke and Wichita State were ousted. 

(Please know there is no disrespect to the victims. Just a joke, it has been a long time missing) 

Since you asked:

Is there anything better than when a big time Hollywood hypocrite/diva gets what is coming to them? Before Gwyneth decided to market herself as a younger, nicer Martha Stewart, “Vanity Fair” was going to blow the lid on what a nasty hypocrite she is. Gwyneth went at them legally with both barrels and “VF” backed way the eff off.

Before the statements “conscious uncoupling” and “being a rich movie star is harder than being a working mom” exploded like a giant poop bomb in Gwyneth’s smug, pompous face, the rumors of her pettiness and bitchiness were seething. Apparently Gwynie is a Martha Stewart without the prison rap sheet. She is vile, sadistic and vindictive to underlings. Just like Martha.

People can take petulant, bitchy stars, like Julia Roberts, Madonna and Jennifer Anniston, because they have talent and that is what they are, they aren’t hypocrites. What you see is what you get. (Oh, yes, Jennifer Aniston is the anti-Sandra Bullock. Whereas Sandy treats the crew like royalty, the coffee shop extras and the “Friends” crew all despised Aniston. Yes, I was bummed when I heard that too. Same with seemingly nice New Trier boy John Cusak. Oh well.)

How is it possible for the public to turn so fast on poor Gwynie? Truth be told, no matter how much we may love a movie star, we are really looking for a good reason to despise them. Their lives are too good. 

And by saying that being a rich movie star with nannies is harder than being a working mom, ala Vegan Gwynie, you have proven the reason why we want to hate you. They don't even appreciate how great their lives are. 

Bastards. Bastards all.