Yo, I got to do that thing at that place with those peoples, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers.

They’re still having problems with the Obamacare website; that thing freezes more than Bruce Jenner’s face.

They’re still having problems with the Obamacare website; that thing is slower than Kim Kardashian on “Jeopardy.”

They’re still having problems with the Obamacare website; that thing freezes and crashes more than the Jacksonville Jaguars.

They’re still having problems with the Obamacare website; guys, that thing is so slow, by the time you log on, you’ll have a beard like a Boston Red Sox.

Since you asked:

Starting to notice that when my wife or daughter sleep in, or take a nap, they act like it is a court-ordered, life-saving procedure prescribed by a doctor. 

But, heaven forbid, I announce I am going to rest my eyes for a few minutes? Down comes the thundershower of sarcasm and disdain:

"Whoa, so this is what you do all day? Must be nice. Too much wine last night? What are you, in Kindergarten or an old-folks home? Do you have a little nap blanket you want lie down on?"