A British doctor claims he has discovered a pill substitute for alcohol that gives you the buzz without a hangover; how lazy, stupid and sad have we become when we want to get drunk but without all the work of drinking alcohol?

“Sure, I’d like to get drunk, but who has the time to open a bottle of beer, pour it in a glass?  And then it’s all swallow, swallow, swallow.”

The weather is amazing here, 80 degrees, but it is cold everywhere else. In Toronto, it was so cold, Mayor Rob Ford smoked crack just for the heat from his pipe.

Since you asked:

Not to get over-dramatic, but I think I just witnessed a miracle. My 15-year-old daughter, Ann Caroline, who runs six miles a day for Cross Country, just walked the six blocks home from her school instead of calling me for a ride. Hallelujah

Love people who become apoplectic decrying the evils of prejudice, sexism and judging by appearances. But prop up a white dude, heavily tattooed 6.5, 315 pound Miami Dolphin linemen accused of using the n-word and bullying?  They cannot wait to crucify him even before all the facts come in.

One woman on Facebook, in a discussion about the Dolphin bully scandal, called anyone who didn’t utterly defend Jonathan Martin and condemn Incognito a pussy and an asshole. Isn’t that sexist? Isn’t that being a bully?

There is a scene in "Brian's Song" (Pause for a Hallelujah chorus from angels) where James Caan as Pic is working out in Billy Dee Williams as Gale Sayers's basement and Pic is urging Sayers to do one more leg extension. Sayers cannot so, to motivate him, Pic calls Sayers a N-word. And then a chickensh*t N-word. Then they almost die laughing.

Now if that was the only thing you saw, you would think Pic was a keen racist. He was not. Now I am not comparing Richard Incognito to the Sainted Pic,  but we do need so see the rest of the movie. 

Why isn’t it illegal for that one grocery store clerk who always looks at your items and then predicts what you are about to do?

“Oh, lump charcoal, tortillas, shrimp, tequila, salsa, margarita mix, somebody is having a Mexican style barbeque.”

Next time I swear I am going to get a bottle of Vodka, a proscription for Viagra, a jar of Vaseline, Preparation H, condoms, a giant cucumber, whipped cream, some rope, clothes pins, a ping pong paddle and red candles and see what the freaking genius guesses.  

Can I just say I think Deepak Chopra, albiet a wise and spiritual man, is kind of a dick? Look at his choice of eye-wear. And Conan O'Brien has him on his show all the time to promote whatever Deepak is whoring at the time, and Deepak throws my Conesky all kinds of shade.