Thursday, August 15, 2013

 Men in Sweden are being warned to swim in the Danish/Swedish channel with their trunks on because marine experts have spotted a testicle-eating fish. The fish is called the Snapping Gloria Allred.

You don't think we're making progress?

Ten years ago, I am in a long line that snakes into three lines at Blockbuster Videos. The young woman clerk slams down the  phone and loudly proclaimes to nobody in particular;
"Oh my gaaawwd, that woman asked me, like, ten questions about a movie. Hello? Have you heard of the Internet?" 
Just as the line gets even longer, two of the four clerks working the cash registers go on a break.
Finally, I get to the front of the line. Without saying a word, when I walk up to his window, the phone rings and the twenty-something goth jerk answers it and has a lengthy personal conversation with a friend with me standing right there. 
Then the openly pissed off and bored twenty something goth jerk announces I have a $20 late fee. When I tell him I was going to bring the movie back earlier, but I had to leave town suddenly for my Uncle's funeral, (which was true) so can I get a break on the late fee? Without making eye contact, he flatly and a sarcastically re-announces;
"And yet you still have a $20 late fee." 
Today I ordered a Netflix movie on my lap top and walked upstairs and watched it on my 50 inch, Hi Def Smart TV. 
The best part is picturing those snotty little Blockbuster clerk brats living on their parent's couch.
Have I heard of the Internet? Yeah, I just watched a movie from the company on the Internet, Netflix, that made you Blockbuster hump-bags unemployed  for the rest of your life.