A really tricky Dick.

A new book alleges that President Richard Nixon was gay. Have you seen a picture of Nixon? He doesn’t look gay. Now Abraham Lincoln? Cool chin beard? Funky top hat? Name is Abraham? Dying to go to the theater?

A Wisconsin man was arrested for drug possession and his legal name is Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop Bop-bop. Gosh, I wonder what made them think he was on drugs?

“The Advocate” ranked the gayest cities and Salt Lake City was #1. To which Sausalito, CA said; “Seriously? We have hardware stores gayer than Salt Lake City.”

“To which Laguna Beach, CA said; “Seriously? We have shops that provide tea services while you pick out outfits for your cats.”

A book alleges President Richard Nixon was gay because of his lifetime close relationship with a flamboyant financier, Charles “Bebe” Rebozo. Rebozo and Nixon shared a love of sipping smart cocktails while sunbathing and singing Broadway show tunes. Hello? Case closed.

A new book alleges that President Richard Nixon was gay. Have you seen Nixon? I don’t think he was gay. Now that Zachary Taylor? Wow, what a screaming flamer.

A 22-year-old Australian woman survived a 360 foot fall into an alligator-infested South African river when her bungee cord snapped. She suffered just minor scrapes and bruises. See what Jesus can do when he isn’t helping Tim Tebow win?

Chaz Bono told “Rolling Stone” she will have a procedure that will take her genitalia and have it formed into the shape of a penis. Thus giving her what’s called a Bruce Jenner.

A 22-year-old Australian woman survived a 360 foot fall into an alligator-infested South African river when her bungee cord snapped. She suffered just minor scrapes and bruises. You know how experts say is the best way to make sure your bungee cord doesn’t break? Don’t bungee jump.

“The Advocate” named to top gay-friendly cities and Salt Lake City, Utah was #1. Not surprisingly, Santorum, OK did not make the list.