Thursday, October 06, 2011

Eric Clapton - Beware Of Darkness (Concert For George)(HQ)

Nobody did more to stop the darkness than Steve Jobs

All you did was change the entire world for the better, Steve Jobs, well done for all my Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Among the two most popular Halloween costumes for kids this year are zombies and Snooki; one is a brain-dead scary ghoul who feasts on the flesh of the living, the other is a zombie.

The producers of “The Simpsons” said they have to cut way back on their budget; apparently they don’t have enough “Dough!”

Amanda Knox was acquitted of killing her roommate; here’s my question: how can we get Amanda Knox on the cast of “Jersey Shore”?

Amanda Knox’s legal team was brilliant; they stocked the jury with guys and said her roommate took her last beer.

In So. CA, a former model in prison for murdering her husband and eating parts of his body, is seeking parole. As for what parts of her dead husband she ate, let’s just say she deserves to be in the penal system.

Authorities suspected she might be a cannibal when she went shopping for fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Rep. candidate, Rick Perry, raised $17 mil. last month. Is it just me, or does Rick Perry look like a politician who doesn’t know any of his staff members names so he calls all the women darling and all the men sport?

Is it just me or does Rick Perry look like a guy who says idea-wise a lot?

Is it just me, or does Rick Perry look like a guy who loudly sucks on his gold toothpick after eating a big juicy steak?

Since you asked:
While the rest of the big do-nothing Presidents and CEO’s of huge corporations were still wearing expensive suits and swilling down martinis with steak dinners and chasing their secretaries around a desk, Steve Jobs was sitting on the floor with co-workers wearing a turtleneck and blue jeans with flip flops and eating Chinese food with chopsticks out of the carton while working late in into the night.

So, Steve, if a little worried-looking sweet bear of a yellow lab runs up and gives you "Thank you" licky-smooches on your foot, bare with it, sure it is a wee annoying, but my Kasey means so well.

Well played, Steve Jobs, well played.

Lex's rock star inspired hotel room secrets:

Bring some funky cool scarves to drape over the lamps to add a cool vibe, ala Keefers Richards. Don't take up a lot of room in your bag, but they add a classy touch.

Bring an iPod speaker. Music throughout the room makes a huge difference.

Buy or bring the booze you want to drink. Room hotel drinks are awful and a rip off.

Wash clothes in the sink and let them dry in the bathroom. Beats having to pack too much.

Leave the TV on when you leave. You're not paying for the electricity and any would-be robbers are fooled away.

Have lot of fresh fruit around, bananas, apples, pears, plums, grapes along. It beats paying for room service and it looks good when it is sitting out.

Bring snacks like cheese and crackers and pistachio nuts and sausage. Fill up on this and you won't stuff yourself of crap food in a restaurant.

Get lots of ice and keep it around. Again, its free and useful for drinks and athletic related soreness.

Guys, when traveling with your kids and wife, when the coffee kicks in, go use the lobby bathroom. It's called taking one for the team.

Spray your cologne in the room. It will help kill the hotel room antiseptic smell.

Go for a jog around the area near the hotel. You might find something cool, like a great bar and grill or some historical crap. Best way to cure jet lag.