Introducing Princess "Lefty" McScram

Appreciate the note, I’ll try and incorporate it*, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Former Ill. Gov. Rod Blagojevich was found guilty of 17 counts against him, including the lesser charge of using his last name as an eye chart.

A Miami man has invented a condom with handles for easier use. He got the idea from the handles on trash bags. Finally, I don’t have to use trash bags for condoms anymore.

Republican candidate, Michelle Bachman referenced John Wayne the actor being from Waterloo, Iowa, when it was John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer. Has Michelle been eating off of Sara Palin’s plate again?

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie announced he is not a fan of gay marriage. To which gay men replied, “Darn. And to think I wanted to marry that obese male version of Snooki.”

Former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsmen is running for President. I like that Jon Huntsman, he looks like the guy playing the banjo in the Viva Viagra band.

Charlie Sheen is officially goddessless. Natalie Kenly is the second goddess to shine on the Sheen. Gosh, if there was only some service Charlie could use that provides men with money attractive women for sex.

The US women defeated North Korea, 2-0 in their first World Cup match. Playing North Korea is tricky, they are aggressive. In other words, you can't dog it or they'll eat you up.


* How Hollywood actors tell directors to keep their tips to themselves.

Since you asked:

Had re-heated turkey meatloaf and coffee for lunch. Felt like I was in that sleazy Chicago diner in "The Sting."

"Look, see, we grifters got a mark and the dicks (detectives) are taking their end without a beef, so everything is jake, ya follah? "