Monday, October 27, 2008

I’ll have you know that I was the originator of the faux five, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Name change
The Tampa Bay Devil Rays had all eight losing seasons then they shortened their name to the Rays and now they are in the World Series. In a related story, introducing the Chicago Ubs.

Like that
The New Orleans Saints beat the San Diego Chargers in London, 37-32 without their star back Reggie Bush; they had to go through the weekend in London without Bush, just like Guy Ritchie.

That hasn’t changed
During her nasty divorce to Guy Ritchie, NBA-dater Madonna is reportedly going through a meltdown. She can’t sleep, she can’t eat, she can’t act . . . OK, the can’t act part is the same.

Not sure
During her divorce with Guy Ritchie, Madonna is reportedly going through a meltdown. One insider said Madonna emotionally threw a piston. Was it threw a piston or did they say that Madonna blew A Rod? I’m not a car expert.

How dumb is it?
In a domestic rage, a man in the Philippines cut off his penis. Doctors were unable to attach it as they left for the hospital in a panic without the penis. Cutting off your penis is stupid. Forgetting to bring it to the hospital? That makes you an honorary member of the Spears family.

In a domestic rage, a man in the Philippines cut off his penis. Doctors were unable to attach it as they left for the hospital in a panic without the penis. How does that work? “Car keys? Wallet? Cell Phone? Got em. Let’s go.” “OK, we're at the hospital, got the penis?” “I thought you had it.”

In a domestic rage, a man in the Philippines cut off his penis. Doctors were unable to attach it as they left for the hospital in a panic without the penis. You thought it was scary when you go to the store and forget your wallet? How about going to the hospital and forgetting your penis?


In a domestic rage, a man in the Philippines cut off his penis. Doctors were unable to attach it as they left for the hospital in a panic without the penis. You know the universal gesture for forgetting your wallet, the panicky pat of all pockets? What’s the gesture when you forget your penis? Grab your groin and yell; “Oh, shoot. I left it on the hall table.”