Monday, February 02, 2004

That’s what I’m talkin’ about, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers.

I had a dream
Help me out, I went to a wild Super Bowl party. Did I dream it, or did Annheiser- Busch really spend millions on a flatulent horse commercial? Is this a great country, or what?

Flash in the pan
*How about that Super Bowl? Thanks to Janet Jackson, that was the breast game I’ve seen in a while.

Apparently CBS stands for Catching Boob Shots.

Did you see the Super Bowl? I have four words: Thank you Justin Timberlake.

And to think I hated boy bands
*Justin Timberlake “accidentally” exposed Janet Jackson’s breast in front of about a billion people. Yeah, right, if that was an accident than Donald Trump’s hair is normal.

What gives?
Michael Jackson was shocked to see his sister’s breast during the Super Bowl. He immediately called up his plastic surgeon and complained; “Hey, those are nicer than mine.”

Michael Jackson was so shocked by seeing his sister’s breast he fell out of bed and knocked over some kid’s Jesus Juice.

The Super Bowl featured a streaker and Janet Jackson’s breast. I haven’t seen this many naked people since the Paris Hilton video.

Did you hear Beyounce Knowles sing the national anthem? It was so moving I tore off the breast from my gladiator suit.

Dah dah dee dah, dah dah dee
“Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek escaped injury Friday when he fell asleep at the wheel of his pickup truck and it drifted off a road and crashed into a ditch, the California Highway Patrol said. I am shocked. Alex Trebek drives a pick-up truck?

Trebek drives a pick-up truck? I picture Trebek in a Jag-u-ar, not Jaguar, Jjjag-U-arrrrrr.

Why does that sound familiar?
Did you see the normally placid Carolina Panters coach John Fox try to rally his team at halftime? He grabbed a microphone and screamed;

“Now it’s on to Oregon , California and Washington D.C. Yeeeeaaagghhhh!”

Putting the Iron back in “Iron” Mike Ditka
Did you see the “Iron” Mike Ditka Levitra commercials during the Super Bowl? Levitra is the one that promises “High-quality erections.” Maybe I don’t understand this, but is there such a thing as a low-quality erection?

"Sorry honey, not tonight. No, I have an erection all right, I'm just not happy with the quality of it."