Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Let’s give a shout-out to shout-outs, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Uh oh
*Bad news. Janet Jackson’s boob popped out, saw it’s shadow and we are in for six more weeks of winter.

*You know who got hosed? All those poor Schlubs who paid up for the “Lingerie Bowl” when they could have seen more flesh on Janet Jackson during the regular halftime show.

Coo coo
*Robert Blake emerged from court, borrowed a street musician’s guitar, sang “Over the Rainbow” and then danced a jig for the crowd and the press. Even Michael Jackson is saying; “That guy’s nuts.”

You go girl
Did you see Martha Stewart? Not to be outdone by Michael Jackson and Robert Blake, today, emerging from court, Martha had an aide rip her breast patch off her gladiator suit.

It just keeps getting nuttier
I can hardly wait to see what Phil Specter does when he walks out of court. He’s crazier then all of them.

Make him an offer
*The New England’s kicker, Adam Vanitieri kicked the winning field goal but missed an easy field goal and had one blocked, which would have covered the betting spread of six and a half points. Today Pete Rose put a contract out on Vanitieri’s head.

Whodda thunk?
*This year, celebrities Michael Jackson, Phil Specter, Martha Stewart, Robert Blake, Nick Nolte, Diana Ross and James Brown, just to name a few, have all been in trouble with the law. Who would have thought the best-behaved guy in Hollywood would be Robert Downey Jr.?

Oh, the humanity
*Rosie O’Donnell was in court to support Martha Stewart. How’d you like to see those two do battle over a business deal? That would be scarier than Godzilla versus Mothra.

Martha Stewart Live Wire
*It’s coming out in her trial that Martha saves a her soft, caring voice for the T.V. audience and talks “harsh and hurriedly” to people. Wouldn’t it be fun to see Martha do a cooking show using her real nasty personality?

“Get those macaroons out of the oven now or you will never cook again. Have you got that? Now, dammit, the macaroons! Move! Move! Move!”

Get over it
For those still upset about the Janet Jackson/ Justin Timberlake half-time show let’s put things in perspective. Twenty years ago we had to endure the sappy “Up With People.” I’ll take a boob shot over a bunch of boobs I want to shoot anytime.

Hissy fit over the, well, you know . . .
Everybody is still talking about Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl Boobie-gate. Today Arnold Schwarzenegger named Janet Jackson Lieutenant Governor of California.

Some say this was the biggest boob shot in sports since “The Best Damn Sports Show” featured Tom Arnold.